


Only A Shadow Can Reach Into the Darkness

by AnimeFanGirl2223



Series: Only A Shadow Can Reach Into the Darkness [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Slightly dubious consent for a little in chapter 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-05-20 14:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14895950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeFanGirl2223/pseuds/AnimeFanGirl2223
Summary: Naruto was lost in the darkness of his life. He could feel himself slipping farther and farther into the void but no longer had the will to pull himself back into the light. He could feel something wrapping around him... A shadow he thought... How oddly...comforting? ShikaNaru and Lemons! Dark Themes: Cutting/Depression! Possible mpreg.///Cross Posted on FF





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***For reference: This is set after Sasuke tries to leave for Orochimaru, but before Naruto would have left with Jiraiya.
> 
> ***Disclaimer: I don't own anything Naruto!

It had already been months since the battle in the Valley of the End where Naruto had been able to stop Sasuke from leaving. Sasuke continued to stare ahead as team seven made their way down the forest surrounded path.

They were walking back from their last mission. The sun was setting behind them, but the ever-hyper-active blond had loudly complained that he didn't want to stop for the night- Ramen was calling him home!

"Come on! They weren't even that tough. We took them down no problem and we are almost back to Konoha! Let's just keep moving so I can get my ramen! I've already used all the supplies I brought!" Naruto said as he licked his lips. "Naruto! Shut up! Sasuke needs his rest and-" "I'm fine Sakura" The Uchiha interrupted.

" _He has been even more of a cold prick since I dragged his unconscious ass back here."_ Thought Naruto as he shot a glare towards the two young ninjas.  _"And all Sakura can do is fawn over him and continue to apologize for any and every transgression she thinks she has caused."_

Kakashi, who had been silently reading his book up until this point, decided to intervene before another "friendly rivals" fight broke out. "Sakura is right. We will camp here tonight and leave in the morning. There really isn't any rush to get back to Konoha is there Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

" _You don't understand Kakashi, I really wanted to be back tonight."_  Naruto thought. Outwardly though, he snorted at the decision, "Ha! Yeah, you're right! I bet poor little Sasuke does need a break!" Before the Uchiha could retort, Naruto had run off screaming about finding firewood.

* * *

Naruto waved goodbye to his teammates with a huge smile and bolted in the direction of Ichiraku Ramen. When he was sure he was far enough away from his comrades, he rapidly switched direction and flew home landing deftly in front of the decrepit apartments.  _"Haaa… Finally, I'm home…"_

Home was an interesting choice of words for the building. The walls were bowing and dull green paint peeled from every board in the long, musty hallway. At the very end on the left was Naruto's apartment. Sighing to himself, the blond slowly opened his door while carefully watching for any sign of an ambush or property damage.

His apartment consisted of only two rooms. A bathroom that was so small the door hit the sink when opened, and the rest of the apartment. There was no need for him to try to lock it anymore. Naruto knew that would just end with his door being completely broken down, and in any case, he had nothing worth stealing.

After deeming the space safe, he entered the dark room and flipped on the lights. The power flickered at first, but to Naruto's annoyance, stopped working altogether.

Naruto threw his ninja equipment to the floor and began pacing back and forth, the light from a lone, partially boarded up window catching his shadow and the dust that swirled about his feet.

Finally making his decision, the blonde quickly picked up his gear and made his way over to the torn, blood and sweat-stained bed while pulling out a kunai. He held the knife in his bared teeth and used his now free hands to frantically remove his jacket, the rest of his pack falling to the hard floor.

Holding the kunai to his wrist, the blond paused. His eyes didn't hold the shine and determination they did when he was out in public. They were dull- misery being the only difference between his eyes and the eyes of those who had already left this life behind.

With one deft motion, the blade sliced upward, leaving a valley from wrist to mid forearm in its wake. The blonde eyed the wound, memorizing the moment before the blood began pouring out. Warm liquid trailed down his raised arm, congregating on his elbow before spilling to the floor.

Naruto slipped to the ground so that he could rest his back against something without ruining his bed even further. He slowly closed his eyes while he leaned his head back against the uncomfortable mattress. Darkness started creeping into the blonde's mind, and his last senses picked up the blade hitting the floor.

* * *

" **Foolish boy… I should not heal you after such distasteful displays of weakness"** growled the Kyuubi.

" _Then don't… I've told you before I would be happier if you would just let me die…"_  Naruto replied coldly while he walked up to the large cage in front of him.

Kyuubi just shook his head sadly.  **"If you die, then I die too baka. Besides, I have grown quite fond of you."**

" _I don't want a lecture right now. I just want to rest. Will you tell me a story?"_

" **Very well kit, I will heal you and tell you a story. But, you must eat as soon as you wake, understood?**

Ever since the incident on the bridge with Haku and Sasuke, the seal that had previously kept Naruto and the Fox separate had been warped, loosening some and allowing the two to merge not only their chakra but the young boys' humanity as well.

Naruto nodded as he laid down before the giant bars. He closed his eyes and listened to the deep voice of the demon, wondering how long it would be before he woke up.

* * *

Shikamaru was lying on his back lazily watching the clouds go by.  _"I was supposed to be training, but I spent all of my energy just walking over here. Troublesome"_  he thought to himself.

He knew he needed to train more. Although the mission was a success, and it was his first time being a team leader, bringing Sasuke back had almost been a disaster with many of his comrades sustaining life-threatening injuries.

Panic welled up inside of him. His mind started racing- _"If I had just been stronger, smarter… If I had just been more like-."_ The chaos he felt slowed, _"Naruto"_ he thought.

Sighing, Shikamaru pushed himself to his feet and readied himself for training. He couldn't help but smile. Naruto had grown on him and so many others since his time at the academy. He had to get stronger so he could protect the people precious to him. People like the blonde shinobi.  _"Naruto… I wonder what you are up to today. Probably face down in a bowl of ramen."_

With one last look at the clouds, he started training, not realizing just how wrong he was about his friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru starts getting suspicious!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Again Lovely Readers! This is the 2nd Chapter of my (hopefully) awesome story!
> 
> ***I don't own Naruto!

Night had crept across Konoha. A cool draft snaked its way through the graffiti-covered walls of Naruto's apartment. The scent of damp mold and stale blood filled his lungs as he was roused from his unconscious sleep. Blue eyes sluggishly opened taking in the darkness that engulfed him. Remembering his electricity wasn't working, he sat still allowing his vision to adjust.

" **Remember our deal kit. You must eat…"**  Came a haunting voice from within.

Naruto hadn't been lying when he said he had used up all the supplies he brought on the mission. Although he really did love ramen, he couldn't afford much else. His rent was at least two times what every other tenant was paying, and most stores wouldn't sell him anything unless he paid extra. As a result, Naruto had grown increasingly thin. Even Kurama wouldn't be able to keep the boy from starving to death.

Pulling a candle and matches out of the drawer next to his bed, Naruto began his search for food. The three cabinets he had in his "kitchen" were nearly empty, containing only a few chipped bowls and cups.

" _I don't have any food here Kyuubi, and rent is due in a few days. I shouldn't go buy anything yet. I'll need to have extra cash just in case the landlord decides to increase my rent again."_

" **Do not forget that your body continues to wither and eventually even your oblivious "friends" will notice. You don't want them asking questions, do you?**

" _No, you are right. I suppose I will be getting paid tomorrow for my last mission."_ Naruto glanced down, acknowledging his grubby clothing and still healing wound. _"But I need to get myself clean first"_

Naruto walked along the dusty road, his fake smile now plastered on his face. There weren't many people out due to the hour, but a few stores and shops stayed open for shinobi.

Naruto ducked into the alley next to the store and prepared to use his transformation jutsu, praying that no one would notice and he could get his supplies in peace.

"Hey, Naruto! What are you doing in there?" Naruto whirled around to see who had been observant enough to notice him in the dark. "Oy Shikamaru!" Naruto exclaimed. "What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but then I'd have to wait for a response. My mom sent me out for some groceries… troublesome woman" he answered.

Naruto was nervous. He knew they were heading into the same shop, and dreaded the thought of being stopped by the manager in front of his friend. His sullen demeanor didn't go unnoticed.

" _I wonder why he became upset so suddenly?"_  Shikamaru thought. He decided to let it go and instead tried to get the blondes attention. "Hey, are you coming or what?"

"Yeah! Believe it!" Came Naruto's boisterous reply. Inside though, he was hoping that being with Shikamaru, a member of the respected Nara Clan, would be enough to get him through the ordeal without trouble.

* * *

 

The two ninjas walked along the isles together silently, each trapped in their own thoughts. Their baskets couldn't have been more different, one full of ramen and value brands; the other with fresh produce and delicacies.

Shikamaru would occasionally dare to side glance at Naruto, searching him up and down. _"He looks thin, still good, but- GOOD? Since when has Naruto looked good? It's Naruto. What the hell am I even thinking? I just need to ignore it. So troublesome…"_

As they each went to purchase their groceries. Shikamaru noticed an odd exchange of looks between Naruto and the man operating the desk. Although he wanted to give Naruto privacy, his eyes flickered to the register.  _"There is no way what he bought costs that much. The clerk must have rung up each of Naruto's items twice. Even Naruto isn't dumb enough to not realize that he is being overcharged."_

Frowning, Shikamaru decided to gently inquire "Sir, I believe the price is wrong. If I'm correct, Naruto only owes you half of that amount."

The man quickly looked at the spiky-haired shinobi standing before him, and then shifted his gaze directly at Naruto. Scowling, he gave him the change he was owed and forced "Have a good night" through his gritted teeth.

"You really didn't need to do that" Naruto muttered as they exited the store. "I don't mind paying extra, it helps the owners."

"I don't care if you like paying extra Naruto, but it seemed like the situation was different than one citizen wanting to help another…" Shikamaru answered.

"Just drop it alright?" The words Naruto snapped were harsh, but there wasn't any bite behind them. They just sounded tired, defeated- nothing like the voice Shikamaru was used to, and he felt worry build in his stomach. A voice in the back of his head urged Shikamaru to continue his questioning, but he forced it aside and started walking again.

The silence between them was deafening. Shikamaru, now attempting to use his superior intellect to figure out what had just happened, couldn't help but notice the looks Naruto was receiving from the few villagers that were out.

"Naruto, you know you can tell me anything…?" Shikamaru started. Not knowing if he meant it as a statement or a question. He lowered his head slightly and looked to his right to gauge his friend's response. " _Nothing, no response… okay, maybe I should reword it"._ "Is there anything you want to tell me?" he continued.

The blonde had stopped walking at this point and had his head down; yellow locks had fallen forward over his headband, effectively covering his eyes. Shikamaru raised his right hand slowly and placed it on Naruto's shoulder.  _"He is so thin! It's hard to tell with this troublesome jumpsuit, but I can feel his collarbone and shoulder protruding. Why haven't I noticed this before?"_

Naruto whipped his head back up when he felt the contact and gave the biggest smile he could muster. "I'm fine! Honest! You worry too much. I'm surprised you'd even spend that much energy to begin with!" Naruto exclaimed. He decided to pull his own right hand up and put it on Shikamaru's shoulder.  _"He must be training a lot… I can feel how much muscle he has put on…"_

Realizing what he was thinking, Naruto felt a slight blush creep onto his cheeks. The pink didn't last long, however; it was replaced by a sickly white hue. It was like all the blood had vanished from the boy. Even the hand that gripped Shikamaru had gone cold.

Shikamaru had noticed the emotional rollercoaster before him. He quickly realized that Naruto's eyes had flashed fear. Without thinking he stepped closer to the blonde, their bodies nearly colliding. Shikamaru parted his lips slowly, black eyes still locked onto piercing blue.

Not wanting to endure another round of questions from the Nara, Naruto concluded that it was time to run off. "Anyways, I've got to get home and sleep. I need to wake up early so I can train and achieve my dream of becoming Hokage! Night Shika!"

Shikamaru stared after the boy, his thoughts still on the night's events. As much as he wanted to let it go, the feeling in his stomach earlier had deteriorated into a pit. He felt the ache spreading to his chest as he recalled his and Naruto's childhood.

" _He was always alone… and those looks the villagers gave him… I remember them. What could he have done to deserve such treatment?"_ But his silent query went unanswered. He looked up into the star-filled sky and watched the dark clouds drift across the moon.  _"More importantly… why do I care so much?"_  He could swear one of the clouds looked just like a fox.

* * *

Naruto slammed his back into the door behind him, making sure it was closed. He felt the cool wood against his back as he slid down to the equally cold floor. He was still panting from running all the way home. Closing his eyes, he slowly leaned his head back, trying to get much-needed air into his lungs.

" **Ku ku ku… what an interesting little exchange."** The Fox was amused to say the least. Strong emotions helped to further blur the lines of the seal and Naruto's reaction to the situation had given Kyuubi a front row seat.  **"I can't wait until your next encounter with the Nara boy…"**

" _What are you droning on about now?"_

" **Do not tell me you are that foolish kit."**

Naruto inwardly glared at the insult.  _"Just what am I being foolish about?"_

" **Your friend, I felt your embarrassment when you touched him… the nervousness when he stepped closer to you…"**

Naruto was confused, he knew Kyuubi was right, but he couldn't figure why it was such a big deal. Concentrating, he pulled himself to the demon's prison. The Fox was smirking at him, a mischievous look filling his blood red eyes.

"… _.. So, what's your point?"_

" **My point baka, is that you like him."**

Naruto's mouth opened and closed a few times. Squinting some, he peered up at Kyuubi,  _"of course I like him. He is my comrade, my friend"_ Naruto answered carefully.

" **Ku ku ku… is that so?"**

" _Just- just shut up. You don't know what you are talking about."_ Naruto mentally threw his head to the side pouting.

" **I think I know exactly what I am talking about kit, and you know it too. I am all-knowing, why do you try to hide from me?"**

" _Yeah, well, here is what I know: I don't like Shikamaru, Shikamaru doesn't like me. I won't ever love anyone and no one is ever going to love me. Got it?"_

With that Naruto did his best to block out the Fox. He didn't want to think about Shikamaru or anything for that matter. He needed to be free from the pain and confusion he felt. He needed release. Rising from the floor, he made his way over to his bed and readied himself for the sweet pain the kunai would grant him.

" **Stubborn as ever I see and still hasn't eaten. This self-destruction can't go on any longer, there must be something I could do to help that I haven't already tried."**

Kyuubi once again contemplated the reaction Naruto had to Shikamaru. He didn't know much about the boy other than his extreme laziness and intellect, but it appeared that he cared for the blonde.

" **Perhaps it is not I who is meant to pull you from your darkness kit… perhaps it is the shadow user…"**


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto slowly pulled himself from his bed. He needed to clean his clothes before he went out today. There would be no mistaking the scent of his blood, especially if he had the misfortune of running into Kiba.

Making his way across the room, he stripped off the old garments and slid into the bathroom. Naruto turned on the shower and quickly cleaned himself in the warm water. Happy with his own hygiene, the blonde placed the plug in the drain to fill up the tub for his clothes. He couldn't afford a washing machine.

As it filled with water, Naruto scanned over the cracked surface.  _"It's a miracle this thing hasn't exploded or killed me from toxic mold"_  Naruto thought to himself.  _"I bet Shikamaru doesn't wash his clothes in a dilapidated tub; I mean, he always smells so nice… Wait, why am I even thinking about that guy! This is getting ridiculous."_

In fact, Naruto always thought about Shikamaru after he saw him. At first, he believed it was admiration. He had known how smart the brunette was long before others found out. Now though, he had started to feel butterflies in his stomach and attempted to avoid the lazy nin whenever possible.

" **Damnit kit! Eat something now! I'd bet anything the shinobi** _ **'you definitely don't like'**_ **noticed your lack of adequate fat."** Boomed Kyuubi's voice.

Naruto obeyed, but couldn't help but question why it would even matter. He didn't want anyone knowing how broken he was, but he doubted anyone would really care. Sure, he had Tsunade, Jiraiya, Iruka, Kakashi and maybe some of the rookie nine, but they hadn't even noticed him falling apart before them. How much could they really care?

Sighing, he ate quickly and headed to the training grounds. He wanted to be alone, but a very small part of him hoped Shikamaru would be there.  _"Maybe he will touch my shoulder again…"_

* * *

It was late again. To his team, it appeared Shikamaru had wasted the whole day staring at the sky, but Asuma knew better. Something was bothering the young ninja, and he was trying desperately to find the solution.

Asuma walked over and placed his hand on Shikamaru's head roughly, startling him from his thoughts. "What was that for?" he growled.

"You know Shikamaru, you are certainly brilliant" Asuma stated while messing up the younger brunette's hair, "but sometimes sitting around thinking won't get you the answers that you need." Seeing his pupil's eyes widen, hopefully in understanding, Asuma turned to leave.

"I've got some… errands… to run. Come see me tomorrow if you need something" he called back over his shoulder. Shikamaru could see the blush on his face and knew exactly what kind of 'errands' his sensei had in mind.

" _Kurenai-sensei"_ he thought, " _I wonder if I get the same look Asuma does when I think about getting close to Naruto."_

* * *

" _Kuso, he saw me"_ Naruto thought as he watched Shikamaru jog over to him.  _"Something must be wrong. I've never seen him run unless he is practically being forced to on a mission."_

"What's up Shika? Everything alright?" the blonde asked.

"Naruto, I need to ask you something important. Here, let's go over there so we are out of everyone's way."

Naruto inwardly gulped but followed Shikamaru, cursing himself for not being able to come up with an excuse to leave. When they reached the edge of the street Naruto had his back to a building and eyed Shikamaru warily. He felt like a trapped animal.

Shikamaru looked around nervously, and leaned forward. "Naruto, I need to know. Why does everyone-" CRASH! A small fight had broken out in the street and one of the instigators had flown right into Shikamaru.

Caught off guard, Shikamaru's body collided with the blondes. Instinctively, his arms flew up to the wall in front of him, one landing by Naruto's head and the other between the boy's arm and torso. But even that couldn't stop the momentum.

Pale lips covered tan ones for just a moment before parting. Shikamaru's senses returned to him and he felt warm hands gripping his slender frame. One on his hip and the other on his chest. He glanced down and noticed how close the two were. The only room between them came from Naruto's delicate hand.

Without thinking he roughly pushed himself away from Naruto, wiping his mouth with his arm. He frantically looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the incident.

Seeing his reaction to the kiss, Naruto's mind went blank. He could vaguely hear the Fox calling out to him, urging him to keep his cool. He couldn't though.

" _I disgust him and he doesn't even know me. If this is how he feels, then what would he think of the real me… a broken demon cage"_  Naruto thought bitterly.

" **That's not true kit. You don't know what he is thinking. This all happened very fast… He is probably just acting out of shock…"**  Kyuubi tried to calm the boy, but he knew it was falling on deaf ears. The blonde had been able to rationalize and hide his feelings for the Nara from him for quite some time, but after last night, Kyuubi knew his kit was devastated.

Shikamaru finally looked up towards his friend. Naruto hadn't moved at all since the 'kiss'. The ache in his chest stung when he realized how he had just behaved. He stepped forward again and attempted to make eye contact with the frozen blonde.

When Naruto still didn't move, he willed himself to look into the boy's eyes. His heart stopped- " _those eyes… I've never seen eyes like that."_

Naruto looked up at Shikamaru, his once lively blue eyes looked like glass, as if there had been cracks running through them and were now on the verge of shattering completely. The brunette searched his face. There was no emotion to be found, none but the deep sadness of those empty angelic orifices.

"Naruto, I-" He started while shaking his head frantically. But before he could finish, before he could even extend his arm to caress the scarred tan cheek, Naruto had gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my faithful readers! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! I'm sure you're getting antsy for some romance (I know I am 

They were in a fight with an invisible opponent… waves of pain wracked his body as an unknown force continued to break him down. He looked over and could see Naruto bleeding from every outlet in his face- his ears, mouth, and nose, but most hauntingly, his eyes. The beautiful shade of blue damaged by unchecked swelling.

He tried screaming for Naruto, but no matter how much air he drove out of his lungs, silence was all that met his ears. The blonde collapsed, a small thud resounding in Shikamaru's mind. Leaping to his feet, the young Chunin ran over to his comrade.

" _His breath is shallow, but I think it's still steady,"_  he thought,  _"I need to turn him over."_

Agonizingly slow, he turned Naruto onto his back, being careful to not hurt him further. His eyes trailed up the small, damaged frame. 'Crack!'

" _How could I have forgotten about the enemy?!"_ Shikamaru was panicking now. He quickly pulled out his last kunai and darted his eyes around, searching for the attack he was sure would come.

Suddenly a cold, shaking hand grasped his own trembling one. He looked down to see Naruto's piercing gaze. "You did this to me Shikamaru" Naruto growled quietly, grabbing the Naras' hand and plunging the blade through his orange jacket, straight into his broken heart.

Blood gushed from the gaping wound. Black eyes met with dead blue ones, and a gut-wrenching scream ricocheted through the forest.

* * *

Shikamaru shrieked as he sat straight up from his sweat-soaked bed. _"That damn nightmare again."_ He groaned to himself. He looked over to his alarm clock, _"it's only five am."_

It had been a week since his accidental kiss with Naruto. Every night since then had been plagued with his minds own version of the pain he caused, each nightmare becoming more guilt filled than the last.

He had tried talking to his friend. But every time Naruto became aware of his presence, there was suddenly 'something he had to go do.' Shikamaru didn't want to make a scene, but if he didn't explain himself soon, he just knew his psyche would crack.

Sighing, he fell back onto his damp pillow, his arms stretched out to each side, lazily hanging over the edges of the bed. Shikamaru furrowed his delicate brows together;  _"how troublesome."_

* * *

Naruto had managed to slice both of his wrists to pieces. When that didn't give him the relief he craved, he had moved on to his thighs, then his stomach. Nothing was getting rid of the pain he felt. The chilling wind nipped at his tear stained cheeks, causing involuntary shivers to erupt from his malnourished body.

_~~ Flashback (the night before) ~~_

_He could feel their eyes on him… full of hatred and fear. He wished they would just leave him alone, but Naruto had never known such luck._

_He tried to back away from the angry villagers when someone started shouting. "Stupid fox! How dare you walk around this village. Especially at night! We'll make you wish you hadn't come to this part of town!"_

_Naruto closed his eyes, waiting for the beating he would receive. There was nothing he could do and he knew it. Using ninja skills to harm civilians was forbidden, and he knew even if he claimed self-defense, the council would use the incident as an example of why he should be locked away._

" _Maybe I could run," He thought to himself. "But then they would just come after me again. It's easier to attack someone you think is a coward."_

_It started._

_Naruto wondered if the blows would ever end. Even after he was knocked to the ground they continued to kick him. He heard a familiar "Hn" come from somewhere in the distance and at first, he was grateful._

_The villagers ran off after identifying the voice as Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto stayed where he was on the ground wheezing softly, blood still oozing from his cracked skull. He became vaguely aware of feet stepping into his blurred vision._

" _What the hell was that loser?" Sasuke asked coolly; he hadn't moved to help the bleeding boy yet. In actuality, he was greatly concerned for Naruto, but the raven couldn't prevent himself from growing angry every time he thought about their last battle. He should have been able to beat the blonde idiot. He was a genius after all… But Naruto had an odd power, one that he didn't understand and couldn't get any higher-ranking ninja to explain._

_Naruto shook with pain and rage. He looked up at Sasuke, tears streaming from his shattered eyes. He didn't bother to hide his real emotions behind 'rivalry'. "I wish I had never brought you back Sasuke. I wish that Haku had killed you on that bridge. I wish he had killed us both" Naruto sobbed as he struggled to get to his feet._

_Sasuke couldn't believe what had come from his rival's mouth. He had always considered Naruto to be his closest friend, he just couldn't let go of his pride enough to show it. Even now he wouldn't let his own stoic mask fall. "Hn."_

_~~End Flashback~~_

Naruto was still having a breakdown over the events from hours earlier. He had never made it home. Instead, he had just hobbled to the forest to avoid being caught again. Kyuubi was desperately trying to heal the lacerations his kit was giving himself, but lack of proper food and rest in addition to the beating he had received hampered his abilities.

" **Listen to me boy! If you keep this up even I won't be able to heal you! Your body needs a break!"**  Kyuubi howled,  **"Do you hear me kit? An-"**

He stopped mid-sentence as he felt a strange sensation flood around him. He was aware that Naruto had stopped moving, leaving everything still and quiet. The prison went cold as he lost the ability to feel Naruto's anguish.  _ **"He isn't dead… what is happening?"**_

He was numb. Blank eyes stared ahead at a lone tree, the blonde knew what he was going to do. Since the two beings had their strongest connection through their emotional link, Kyuubi had effectively been shut out of Naruto's mind. His kit couldn't hear him anymore.

He reached out towards the trunk, feeling its unsympathetic bark scratch his tan skin. Naruto pulled out rope from the bag of gear on his leg and slowly formed a noose. Dropping himself lightly, he could feel the pain cascade from his tender neck. Fire filled his lungs as his body fought against the cold abyss it was being dragged into.

The Kyuubi shook within Naruto, urgently regenerating the dying cells as fast as he could without creating more damage.  _ **"He can't hold on much longer…"**_ he assumed. The sun had just begun to creep over the leafy hills of the Land of Fire.

* * *

Shikamaru was wandering through the forest near his home. He had long given up trying to sleep after such a melancholy dream. Gazing above, his mind became set. He would tell Naruto that he cared for him deeply, maybe not in a completely romantic way… but he was only thirteen so he didn't really understand that 'adult stuff' anyway.

Keeping one hand in his pocket, the lazy shinobi pushed through a thick layer of branches coming into a small clearing. He froze, his mind and body unable to believe what he was seeing.

"NARUTO!" he cried, sprinting towards the motionless boy. Quickly snapping the rope from his neck with strength he didn't know he had, he attempted CPR.

'Crack!'

Instinctively, Shikamaru pulled out the lone kunai he had on him so early in the morning. Suddenly a cold, shaking hand grasped his own trembling one.

" _It's just like my dream"_  he whispered to himself, fear dripping from his words.

He hesitantly looked up to what he believed would be Naruto's piercing gaze. Instead, he found himself gasping. The boy was smiling? It was a gentle smile, dazed with lack of oxygen and blood loss. Another cool hand rose to his pale cheek, settling lightly before blue eyes rolled backward and the ragged breathing stopped.

Without hesitating this time, Shikamaru picked up the boy he cared for so much and sped into town. Only the Lady Hokage, Tsunade herself, would be able to save the blonde now. He just hoped he hadn't come too late.

* * *

Red eyes peered down from the dark canopy of the forest. "Kisame, if our jinchuriki lives, I think I know an easier way to bring him to the Akatsuki."

Kisame chuckled darkly. "I can't wait to see what you have in mind Itachi…"

As the two retreated, their shadows danced in the early morning sun; a dark path being left in their wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave me some feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming to this story to read! :)

Shikamaru had never really been one to barge through a door, or even raise his voice. Putting that much effort into any action was bothersome at best. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and this situation had become dire.

The state the brunette currently found himself in had given him the energy and will to exhibit more vitality than even Naruto himself might have been able to muster.

'BOOM!' The doors to the village leader's office slammed open from the might of Shikamaru's kick.

"LADY HOKAGE NARUTO NEEDS YOUR ASSISTANCE IMMEDIATELY!" the panting boy exclaimed.

Naruto had stopped breathing minutes ago in the forest. It wouldn't be long before medical ninjutsu became useless.

Tsunade hadn't even been able to complain about her door being kicked in before the bleeding form had caught her senses. Jumping from her reclined chair, the busty woman stole Naruto from Shikamaru's quivering arms and began barking orders at everyone she saw.

* * *

" _I didn't expect everything to be so cold… maybe I'm not getting into heaven after all…"_

Naruto was surrounded by darkness. There was no sound, and he couldn't detect any light source in the vastness of what he determined to be limbo. At first, the only thing he could feel was that he was alone.

A cool drip of water lightly hit his cheek. _"It's raining? Why would there be rain here?"_  He thought. Raising his hand to wipe off the liquid, another droplet fell from above him. He tried to move away from the persistent shower, but no matter which direction he turned to, his cheeks continued to feel wet.

A small light caught his gaze, it seemed so far away he didn't think he would have the strength to follow it. Soon after, another ember formed, equally as distant, but somehow different than the first.

Walking slowly, he crossed the blankness ahead of him. He wasn't convinced that the floor wouldn't just collapse under his weight; he felt so tired and heavy.  _"That water isn't going to let up, is it?"_  He mused.

Approaching the glowing orbs, Naruto felt warmth for the first time since he 'woke up'. Smiling softly, he turned to the first spark; it seemed to be calling for him to grab it.

"Nngngnkd plendnde!" Naruto heard. Confused, his eyes followed the sound.  _"It's coming from that other light… I can't understand it though… It doesn't matter"_  he thought, shaking his head. Determined, he reached forward.

'Drip'

That damn salty liquid had managed to hit his lips this time…  _"Wait salty… rain isn't salty"_

"Naruto…. Pleaheod come bakdk!"

" _I recognize that voice from somewhere, who could be calling me? I still don't understand what they want."_ He couldn't help the fascination he felt, edging closer to the voice he hadn't yet been able to place.

* * *

Shikamaru had been allowed to stay in the room with the healing staff as they worked furiously to stabilize Naruto. In truth, they couldn't have removed the boy if they tried. He could hear the nurses mumbling medical jargon, and despite not having an in-depth knowledge, the solemnness in their voices let the poor Nara know the prognosis was bleak.

He had resorted to full blown sobbing now, tears pouring from his bloodshot eyes fell to the blonde boys' scarred cheeks. He kept calling softly into Naruto's ear, begging him to come back. He looked over at the exhausted ninjas; they had given up and were going to let him die despite Tsunade's broken protests. As his head moved, a single tear fell on to Naruto's lips.

He needed to see that angelic face one last time before the blonde boy was lost to him forever. Leaning forward, Shikamaru's shadow slowly covered his friend. "Naruto if you can hear me, it's Shika…Please don't give up" he whispered, wrapping his arms around him.

* * *

" _That's Shikamaru's voice… Is he crying? Why does everything feel so nice all of a sudden?"_

As if caught in a trance, Naruto moved closer to the dim light. He could see why it looked different than the first one he had seen, it had a thin dark veil covering it. He felt something wrapping around him...  _"A shadow?"_ he thought. _"How oddly...comforting?"_ Gradually it enclosed Naruto, pulling him slightly, warming the frozen air around him.

The jinchuriki could hear Shikamaru clearly now. Pain gripped his chest as he debated what he should do.

" _The Fox never understood why I couldn't allow myself to fall for that lazy ass… He isn't gay I don't think, plus I'm a demon carrier. I wasn't able to handle being ostracized all the time and I grew up that way. He doesn't deserve to be treated like me, shaming himself and his family in the process."_ Naruto thought sadly.  _"But the feeling I have when I'm around him is so pleasant. Maybe… maybe if I went back to him I could feel it… just one more time."_ With a faint sense of hope driving his movements, Naruto hesitantly reached for the dying light before him.

His lashes fluttered open, seeing his crush hovering over him, clutching his ruined jacket with wide eyes gave him butterflies.

" _Well, maybe just one more wouldn't be so bad…"_ he thought before falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

Tsunade sat back in her chair wearily. They had barely been able to save the brat and now there was a whole new set of problems to deal with. She debated the young shinobi's right to privacy against her gut feeling that his loved ones needed to know.

" _He was so thin… why hadn't he been eating?"_  She closed her eyes in thought, hands clasped together in front of her face.  _"Clearly we all missed the warning signs. His comrades need to know… I'll need help keeping an eye on him from now on…there's no telling what he'll be like when he finally wakes up."_

Tsunade went to work, writing summons after summons to be sent out in the morning. There was no point in panicking everyone tonight as there was nothing they could do.  _"He might not make it until morning"_ , she thought miserably.

* * *

Everyone waited semi-quietly in the Hokage's office. She hadn't yet arrived, but it must have been important for so many shinobi to be called in.

Sasuke looked around mentally doing a headcount. There was Guy-sensei and his team, Iruka, Jiraiya, and 'almost' all the rookie nine with their captains.  _"But where are Naruto and Shikamaru?"_ he thought, his mind flashing back to the words his friend had spewed at him the night before. Before he could stop it, Sasuke felt a feeling he had rarely known: fear.

Within a few minutes, Tsunade entered her office with less force than usual. It seemed like her age had finally caught up with her leaving her eyes tired and her feet dragging. As she finally sunk into her chair, she felt the weight of the announcement crushing her heart.

"What's this all about Hokage-sama," Neji asked.

Taking a deep shaking breath, Tsunade began. "I know it's unorthodox to pull you all away from your responsibilities, but it can't be helped. Some of you have probably already noticed the absence of two of your comrades." She placed her elbows on the desk in front of her and continued, eyes narrowing.

"Shikamaru Nara and Naruto Uzumaki are currently in the hospital. Shocking as it may be, Naruto attempted to take his own life last night, and Shikamaru was fortunate enough to find him in time. But make no mistake, it is still a delicate situation, Naruto could leave us at any-"

Chaos erupted in the room with everyone talking at once, demanding to know what could have been the cause, what condition he was truly in, why they weren't told sooner, and a plethora of other indistinguishable remarks.

Tsunade silently raised her hand to quiet the distraught shinobi. "I have as many answers as you all right now. I've kept Shikamaru in the hospital to monitor his condition as well. It isn't easy finding a close comrade like he did. When I am sure he is stable, I will personally question him… Maybe he knows something that we don't."

Pausing once more, she dismissed them with the exception of Lee and Guy. "Since our ambassador to the sand is currently incapacitated I will need you both to travel to Suna and deliver a message to Gaara."

"But Lady Hokage! I must see Naruto! There must be someone else who can go in our stead!" Lee protested.

"You and Guy are the two fastest shinobi we have available right now. Kakashi is needed here in case those damn Akatsuki come back. Naruto needs all his friends here to support him, and I have a feeling he and Gaara have an unspoken connection. I will send word to you if he wakes up before you return." Tsunade stated. Her eyes softened some, shining with tears as she finished, "I can't trust anyone else with a mission of this importance. Please, don't fight me on this."

"Come on Lee! Our comrade needs us and we have the power of youth on our side!" Guy assured.

"RIGHT!" Lee screamed, fire burning in his eyes. He would just have to run faster than he ever had before. His friend was depending on him.

* * *

Sun-kissed lips brushed against pale ones gently, as if too much pressure would scare the other off. They both pulled back slightly, cautiously peering into each other's want filled eyes. Feeling his resolve leave him, Naruto reached unsteady hands upward, one to the tender area at the nap of the neck, and the other to the brunette's spiky hair. Caressing the soft locks, he closed his eyes and leaned forward again, praying that his crush wouldn't push him away as he placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Naruto was brimming with anxiety as he felt Shikamaru lightly grab his hips, pulling him closer, their bodies flush against one another. Their kiss was less shy this time, longing clouding their already hazy minds.

Shikamaru's tongue glided across Naruto's closed lips. Guardedly, still insecure about receiving what he desired, Naruto obeyed the request, parting his mouth slightly.

Once he had been granted access to that sweet, warm cavern, Shikamaru's hands quickly explored Naruto's back before one crept upward, squeezing the back of his blonde's neck. Deepening the kiss, Shikamaru held him tightly, easily defeating the smaller boy's tongue.

When they parted for air Naruto moaned in innocent pleasure. He had never felt so fulfilled before, and from such a simple display of affection…

* * *

"Naruto! Naruto wake up! Are you alright? You're groaning… are you in pain?" The blonde woke to the barrage of questions, irritated that someone had disturbed his amazing dream world. As his eyes focused he felt blood rush to his face. Shikamaru stood before him, shaking him lightly.

There was a rush of emotions flowing through Shikamaru as he saw cerulean blue orbs open groggily. He felt extreme relief and happiness that Naruto had at least woken up, even if it was temporary, but also anger and sadness.

Naruto looked at Shikamaru's face, analyzing the change of expression.  _"He looks so upset… Maybe this was one time too many…"_  he thought before closing his eyes again. He was too tired stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support :)

After a short discussion, the Jonin had decided that they would return to their assignments, but send their students home. Shinobi had to grow up so fast already; they could afford to give them the afternoon off.

"What the hell happened to that little idiot?" Asked Kiba, concern lacing his rough voice. Akamaru was still on his head whimpering slightly from the news. "Y-ye-yes, K-Kiba-kun is right…He was al-always so che-cheerful" Hinata stuttered out, still attempting to console the poor puppy.

" _Clearly,_  we missed something" Neji answered curtly, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. He couldn't believe the boy who had been so adamant about changing his destiny, the one who had defeated him in battle and transformed his view of the world had been hiding such a dark secret.

"I thought those eyes of yours saw everything Hyuga" Sasuke stated pointedly, his typical smirk smeared over his pale face. "I could say the same thing to you Uchiha, or perhaps you did see something wrong and simply ignored it as you nearly pummeled your teammate to death at the Valley of the End." Neji snapped.

"You want to say that again?" Sasuke muttered dangerously, pushing himself off the tree he had been leaning on.

"That's enough! Can't you see you're just making it worse!" Ino shouted, her arms still wrapped around a very distraught Sakura. Despite all the insults and fights the two girls had, she knew how agonizing it was knowing a teammate was hurt, after all, Shikamaru was in the hospital as well.

"Shikamaru was acting strangely last week remember Ino? He was just staring at the sky when Asuma-sensei was trying to teach us some new jutsus." Choji chimed in between mouthfuls of potato chips. With this new load of stress, his appetite had increased even more. "Do you think that had something to do with Naruto?"

Shino, who had thus far remained silent in the background stepped forward. "Whatever differences we may have are no longer important. If we are to come to understand Naruto and his actions, we must first go to the source. I suggest we search his place for clues to determine what lead up to this."

After a general nod of approval, the young ninja found that no one knew where Naruto lived. He had always just met them somewhere else. It was going to be hard to maneuver through the enigma Naruto had left before them.

* * *

*****6 Day Time Gap*****

Groaning lowly, Naruto felt his mind waking, and with his consciousness came a wave of pain.  _"Something is in my mouth."_ Blue eyes opened to observe the foreign object _"a feeding tube"_ he realized.

Laying still, Naruto glared up at the ceiling.  _"I just had to follow that damn voice, didn't I? Now, look at the mess I'm in."_  He heard the door open, his thoughts interrupted. Seeing the very tired, most likely pissed Hokage caused panic to stir in his mind.  _"Kuso! What the hell am I going to say now? I'll never be allowed to be a ninja again… if she doesn't kill me first that is!"_

" **Tell her it was me kit..."**

" _Why would she believe that? Plus, that will get me in huge trouble with the council; they could lock me away until we both rot!"_

" **Say you felt the seal loosen more than usual… You could hear me in your thoughts… I kept repeating that the village should be destroyed… How we should destroy it together…"**

" _And that helps me get out of a suicide attempt how exactly?"_

" **You felt there wasn't another option. Fixing the seal could have killed whoever attempted such a powerful technique. You couldn't hurt the ones you loved or leave me getting out to chance. It was the best call your adolescent mind could comprehend at the time…."**

Tsunade was now hovering over Naruto like a mother would over her sick child. She was gently pulling out the feeding tube as Kyuubi coached his host into developing an elaborate lie.

Choking slightly as the soft plastic slipped from his throat, Naruto anxiously prepared for the questions. He would wait for Kyuubi to feed him the words and then repeat exactly what the Fox said so that he didn't mess up his responses.

"It's not what you think Baa-chan!" Naruto started raising his arms in defense. "Honest!" He gave a sheepish grin and waited for her reply.

Eye-brow twitching slightly at the name, Tsunade tried to keep calm. "Then you better explain yourself brat!"

Naruto brought the lie to life, being as animated as possible, but Tsunade didn't seem fully convinced and Kyuubi had run out of explanations. Naruto sighed loudly and looked down, his eyes full of regret. He knew what he needed to say, but it was a low blow. "I just wanted to act like the Hokage would Baa-chan," Naruto said softly.

Both Tsunade and Kyuubi held their breath.  _ **"This wasn't in the plan kit!"**_

Clearing his throat, he continued. "I know it seems stupid now, but all I could think about at the time was protecting the people most precious to me… just like the 4th did." Blue eyes glanced up at the kunoichi from under messy blond strands. Her eyes were filled with tears. Smiling to himself, he knew he had won- for now at least. There were still many questions he would have to create answers for, such as why he hadn't been eating.

But he knew she wouldn't be able to argue with him over the suicide attempt now, especially when he had actually been sincere about everything so far. Nothing he had said was a complete lie; it had all happened at one time or another.

She pulled him into a big hug, glittering tears falling down her face onto the bed as she rested her chin on his warm head. She wasn't sure if she believed the story in its entirety yet; Shikamaru's insight had made some of the boy's excuses questionable. She just needed to try to be patient with him and accept his answers as enough for now.

"Grandma Tsunade?" Naruto asked, "I'm sure everyone is worried about me, and I think only Sasuke is really aware of the Fox's' presence. Do you think it would be okay to break the rules just this once and let my comrades know?"

Tsunade agreed reluctantly knowing that Naruto's secret could very easily get out to more than just his comrades and end in disaster. The Akatsuki had come for him once before when he and Jiraiya had been searching for her to offer the title of Hokage, leaving Sasuke and Kakashi extremely injured.

She had tried to cover up the reason for Itachi's 'visit' when healing Sasuke, but in his attempt to stop the boy from running to Orochimaru, Naruto had let the immense power of the Fox leak out again, and Sasuke was still asking questions.

The young shinobi new that the Akatsuki were bad news, and after Naruto, but that was the extent of their knowledge of the situation. So far, only the people alive at the time of the nine-tails attack new the identity of the jinchuriki.

"Naruto, I received word back from Lee and Guy, Gaara is on his way now, they should be here by tomorrow," Tsunade said pulling back from their embrace "I've heard he has done much better since you all fought, trying to connect with people and curb his bloodlust."

Naruto smiled warmly, a real smile. He truly did enjoy knowing he had brought others happiness and some form of peace.  _"I know Gaara probably expects the same hyperactive kid that kicked his Shukaku ass during the Chunin exams attack. Maybe he won't lose the progress he's made if I tell him the truth… He's the only person who would really understand I think."_

* * *

Shikamaru was still tearing through the city's housing documents. As a Chunin, he was able to access them in an effort to help his friends discover more about Naruto's personal life.  _"Damn, there isn't a single record of Naruto living in Konoha. How the hell is that even possible?! He sure is a troublesome knucklehead."_

Rubbing his sleepy, strained eyes, he couldn't help but smile when he remembered the startled look Naruto had on his face the last time he had woken up.  _"It was like he was embarrassed I had heard him dreaming."_

His smile fading slightly to a frown, Shikamaru remembered that it had been six days since those precious eyes had opened. He had gone and sat next to the blonde every day for a few hours since then, all the while hoping his friends didn't notice his growing attachment.

'Poof!'

One of Tsunade's assistants had arrived during Shikamaru's daydream. "Shikamaru-san, your presence has been requested at the Hospital. Naruto Uzumaki is awake."

Clumsily putting all the papers back into their drawers Shikamaru rushed to the blonde's room. To his surprise, he was the last one to arrive. Wiping the sweat that had accumulated on his brow, he stepped into the room immediately making eye contact with all the visitors, and then Naruto.

"Hey, Shikamaru! What took you so long! Did you bring me any food? Baa-chan won't give me anything but this I.V. crap!" Naruto shouted with a grin so big his eyes closed.

Shikamaru stood frozen in shock. Glancing around again, he saw his comrade's faces staring back at him, confusion evident in their eyes as well.  _"What the hell is he talking about? Doesn't he know why he's in here… why we are all here with him?"_

"What's wrong with you guys? You all look like you haven't slept for a week!" Naruto said as innocently as he could.

Kakashi decided as his first sensei, it would be up to him to ask the tough question that plagued their minds. His one visible eye peered over the front of his copy of Icha Icha Paradise, "Naruto, we have all been extremely worried about you. Maybe you would like to explain why you decided to-"

"Oh, that! Hahaha" Naruto laughed as he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I already explained that to Baa-chan. It's nothing you all need to worry about." Looking more serious, Naruto continued in an almost nonchalant way, "I know it's against the rules and all, but the grandma and I figure since it involves the village's safety I should tell you. I am the jinchuriki for the nine-tailed fox, and I was having a problem with the seal, but it's fixed now."

There were gasps from many of the shinobi in the room. Most of them had no idea such a creature resided inside Naruto, and at first, they were afraid. " _I knew it, fear… the first reaction is always fear. Then once they have had a chance to digest the information they will be angry with me. Finally, they will grow to hate me, just like everyone else does"_ he thought to himself in defeat.

"That doesn't explain why you are so thin Naruto! And why that man at the store attempted to rip you off!" Shikamaru said, more hotly than he intended.

Naruto had already arranged an answer though. "Look I lost my wallet a couple of months ago and since missions have been slow with all the training I've been doing, I got behind on my rent. I put all my groceries and apartment costs on credit and I've been paying it back. I figured a couple months of eating a little less wouldn't be an issue, but I guess I burn off more than I thought."

The smile on his face seemed genuine, but Shikamaru could tell his eyes weren't matching the rest of his body language. Before he could press him further, Naruto had started talking again.

"Anyway, we think the low energy I had was loosening the seal a bit, I even saw Sasuke that night and had my red eyes." He said looking over to the Raven. There was nothing particular about the way he said it or the expression on his face, but Sasuke could feel those blue eyes bore through him. He knew that was a blatant lie; Naruto's eyes had been blue as the sky and full of suffering when Sasuke had found him.

Realizing that Naruto fully expected him to lie as well, Sasuke considered his options. Knowing that if he hadn't been so cold to his rival, the unfortunate events of that night may not have even occurred, he eventually decided he didn't have much of a choice.

"The dobe had red eyes at first, but he shook his head and they were blue again. I didn't worry about it since he had always regained control in the past" the Uchiha stated, guilt forming a painful ball in his throat as he spoke. He cleared his airway but couldn't bring himself to look up. He just stayed with his arms crossed in a corner leaning back with a food against the wall.

"See! It's just like I said! Nothing to worry about as long as I eat!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Why didn't you just come to one of us if you needed money Naruto?" Sakura asked in a barely audible voice.

"I'm a full-fledged shinobi Sakura-chan! I can take care of myself" he answered defiantly. The room seemed to relax at his words, trusting that their friend had simply made a stupid judgment error. Eventually, everyone was smiling and laughing—everyone but Shikamaru and Sasuke.

Shikamaru had watched the discussion take place in complete disbelief.  _"They aren't really buying this lame story, are they? Can't they tell he isn't well?"_  Contemplating how they could all be so dense it occurred to him. " _We were all blind to his behavior before this, even me. We just didn't want to be bothered by the evidence right in front of us."_

* * *

Eventually, all the guests left leaving Naruto alone… almost. Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Sakura had stubbornly stayed until visitation hours were over. When the nurse poked her head in to let them know they needed to let him rest, his teammates were pushed out of the room first. The brunette gave the nurse a quick look and she reluctantly left, giving them a few minutes alone.

Shikamaru glanced back at the forced smile, "You know I don't believe that story one bit Naruto. I know what I saw and something doesn't fit. I'm not going to let you off that easy no matter how troublesome it is." As he turned towards the door he heard sheets shifting behind him.

The confusion the blonde felt was evident as he spoke: "Why?"

Pausing once more, Shikamaru dropped his head forward, "Because you're my friend that's why. I-"

" _I need to choose my words carefully,"_ he thought, "I care about you Naruto."

Feelings welled up inside him and he started towards the door. Just as he slid it open he heard words that temporarily stopped his heart before causing it to beat rapidly, butterflies filling his already tight stomach.

"You know my kit heard you when he was out cold. He felt your tears on his cheeks, the warmth of your embrace. You brought him back, Shikamaru. He cares about you too, more than you know... more than he is willing to admit."

Whipping his head around at the animalistic voice, he was met with blood red eyes wielding slits for pupils. They only lasted a moment more before fading back to a natural soft blue. Naruto looked dazed at first but quickly realized what had been forced from his mouth, a blush spreading furiously across his face before he hid under the covers.

"You've had your extra time! Come on now, out with you!" Came the stern voice of the head nurse. Shikamaru was too stunned to argue. He stalked out, not sure of how even his brain could make sense of what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! That was longer than expected (-_-') I hope you enjoy it anyway though! Stay tuned for the next chapter. I'm hoping to have up soon I'm thinking angst with a side of smut for the theme, but who knows?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE BE AWARE: There is explicit material in this chapter with dubious consent at first! Please be careful if you can be triggered!
> 
> Remember, this is pre-Shippuden, but post-Valley of the End so if I don't explain the clothes very well, you know what to imagine!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Gaara sat at in a chair next to Naruto's messy hospital bed, one hand on the massive gourd beside him, and the other clutched tightly in his lap. Turquoise eyes narrowed at the sleeping boy, impatience starting to best the stoic sand ninja. He hadn't moved since the early morning and it was approaching ten am.

"Naruto," he called quietly. The drooling blonde barley moved his sprawled form before snoring loudly in response.

Sand began swirling in the air, congregating above Naruto's head before lightly slapping the sleeping shinobi. Gaara stared in mild amusement as he fell off the bed with a loud crash.

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Naruto growled. Seeing who had startled him from his sleep, his irritation quickly faded and was replaced by excitement and anxiety. His friend really had traveled all the way from Suna to see him, but this wasn't a social visit.  _"He wants to know if what he heard is true…"_

"How are you?" Gaara asked dryly.

Naruto looked at the redhead for what felt like ages, a debate raging behind his eyes. He couldn't decide what he wanted to do: tell the truth and beg him for his silence, or attempt to lie.

The thought of being dishonest with Gaara felt so much worse than actually going through with lying to his comrades from Konoha. He knew that no matter what, Gaara wouldn't judge or abandon him; they both had suffered from their status as jinchuriki. If they couldn't trust in one another then they really would have nothing.

Concentrating, Naruto checked his surroundings to assure their privacy. "I'm not sure anymore Gaara… I stand by what I said when we fought, that true strength comes from protecting the people precious to us, but I don't think I can take the abuse anymore. You know how hard it is."

Crossing his arms, Gaara nodded in agreement and waited for his friend to finish.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I betrayed you Gaara, truly. I feel a bit better now, and I don't plan on doing something so reckless again."

"It's alright Naruto, we all have moments where the darkness takes hold. You helped me find the light once, it is time that I return the favor" he finally answered. The tense air relaxed, leaving the two shinobi to catch up on each other's lives.

"Kyuubi thinks I should give a relationship a chance" Naruto snorted. "It'd be a miracle if I was even accepted in this village, much less loved by someone."

"Is there anyone you find attractive Naruto?" Gaara asked. The blonde could only nod shyly, a blush present on his warming cheeks.

"Then perhaps you should listen to him. You deserve happiness" Gaara stated, "I too have found someone of interest, though I am not sure he feels the same way. I plan on seeing him during my stay here in Konoha."

Naruto didn't need to ask who 'he' was. Even before they became friends the blonde seemed to read the redhead like a book.  _"Neji…What in the world would attract Gaara to that snobby prick."_ Smirking, he couldn't help but wonder who would be on top if Neji reciprocated the feelings. _"Ha-ha wouldn't it be great it Neji was an uke… Gaara certainly wouldn't be."_

"Right!" Naruto said, clapping his hands together. "If you man up and talk to Neji, I will do the same with Shikamaru!"

Gaara couldn't help but let a small devious smile form on his lips. He planned to do so much more than talk to the Hyuga.

* * *

 

Neji was at the training grounds again, the sun setting in the distance. He was determined to show the main branch that he wielded the strongest kekkei genkai.

"Rotation!" He said, willing his tired body to perfect the protective jutsu. Panting, he dropped to the soft grass; he had pushed himself to his limit and needed a short rest.

Black rimmed eyes peered at the long-haired boy from the shadows. His protective sand becoming agitated as his heart beat harder. Stepping out of the trees, he strolled over to the Hyuga genius, making sure there was no visible sign of his nervousness.

White eyes glided over to the approaching figure. Standing, he gave a slight bow, "Gaara." Raising his head, he quickly became aware that the boy was inches from him. Starting to feel alarmed, he tried to step backward only to run into a something.  _"Sand,"_ he thought.

Glaring, Neji composed himself, "What's the meaning of this?"

Gaara didn't seem to even process that someone was speaking to him, he hadn't even blinked. Turquoise eyes just stared, fixed on their target. Faster than Neji's mind could process, Gaara leaned forward crashing his lips into the older boys.

His mind finally catching up to the abrupt action, Neji's face turned scarlet and he tried to pull away, but there was nowhere for him to move. Even if there had been, he was being held in place by the pale hands on his shoulders. His white eyes were wide, slightly downcast to see the shorter nin.

Realizing that his hands were still hanging limply by his sides, Neji wedged his arms between them and pushed as hard as he could, breaking the forceful kiss.

The only change in the redhead's features was a slight blush, Neji's appearance was another matter entirely. "I didn't think Hyuga's got flustered," Gaara said, a faint hint of intrigue lacing his low voice.  _"If he gets like this from just a kiss, I might have him screaming by the end."_

Doing his best to look indignant, Neji tried to give a retort, but his mouth just kept opening and closing. He finally looked away gritting his teeth in irritation.

Gaara stepped forward again, this time completely closing the space between their bodies. He grabbed hold of Neji's hips and thrust his own forward growling into his preys' exposed neck. A squeak escaped from the brunette's mouth as his hands flew to Gaara's biceps, squeezing them in shock.

Panicking, he ripped away from the hands on his hips and took off into the forest. His mind was running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to do. He hadn't made it far before sand captured his ankles causing him to fall as his legs flew from beneath him.

He laid face first on the ground, all the wind having been knocked from his heaving lungs. The sand moved again, pulling him back to his feet and forcing him against a nearby tree. His wild eyes opened to see calm ones nearing him. "How fortunate you used most of your chakra training. You could have been a handful for me otherwise."

Having gotten his air back, Neji had begun to struggle against the sand that kept him captive. Gaara moved directly in front of the stressed shinobi. He leaned forward again, passing the brunette's lips and heading straight for his ear.

Neji froze at the sudden closeness. Feeling the warm breath gliding over his skin, he swallowed thickly and closed his eyes in an attempt to calm down. Gaara gently brushed his cool lips against the lobe, smirking widely when he felt the boy shiver. "I've wanted to do this since the Chunin exams," he said huskily.

Neji gasped as a cold hand slid under his shirt, exploring the pale skin as it traveled upward. Gaara took the earlobe into his mouth, grazing it slightly with his teeth before sucking.

"Ss-top this!" Neji choked out. He could feel a tingle in his stomach as he became aroused from the touches. Gaara had moved downward now, sucking and nipping on the sensitive skin of Neji's neck leaving a trail of marks as he went.

Neji's plea was answered with another cold hand on his toned stomach. He felt them move around before grabbing his hips again. Gaara centered himself between the slightly parted legs of the Hyuga and grinding forward, feeling the hardening length against his own.

Neji sucked in air sharply, arching his back to the sensation. Gaara's mouth moved again, this time nuzzling the underside of the brunette's chin, pushing his head up and back against the tree.

Knowing that Neji was preoccupied, Gaara pulled his hands from under the Hyuga's shirt. Slowly, he undid the garment. He took his time exploring his crush's exposed torso, wondering what Neji was thinking.

" _Damn, damn, damn! You must get yourself under control"_ He thought, aware that he was now fully erect. He could feel the other's tongue dragging along his collarbone and he was unable to suppress a small moan.  _"Great, now I've encouraged him."_

"Get off me" he managed to say. Gaara continued leaving butterfly kisses down Neji's stomach until he reached the belly button. With one knee on the ground, he looked up at his love, searching for true discomfort. Seeing that all Neji could muster was a half-hearted glare, he paused "Are you not attracted to me?"

Neji felt his pulse quicken, blood rushing to his already flushed face. He did find Gaara attractive, but he'd always just crossed his arms and looked away when he was around him, forcing himself to forget such a foolish desire. "That's not the point!" He finally answered.

" _That's not a straight no… maybe he just needs a bit more…encouragement…"_

Dropping his other knee, he undid Neji's pants, sending sand to cover the boy's mouth before he could protest. Refocusing, he kissed the trembling skin just above the top of his boxers, letting his hand slide up a partially clothed leg. He could hear the Hyuga breathing heavily now, his chest expanding and contracting is desperation.

Pulling the boxers down slowly, he gripped the weeping member. Sliding his fingers along its length before smearing the pre-cum at the tip.

Neji moaned loudly now, bucking his hips slightly while he cursed his lack of restraint.

The two locked eyes as Gaara's hand gripped the base firmly, moving his mouth closer to its head. Neji's whole body locked up as he realized what Gaara was about to do.

"MHMGMM!" Neji screamed against the sand, eyes closing tightly. His whole body felt like it was on fire as his senses were overwhelmed. Gaara's hot tongue swirled around the tip before dropping down lower, his throat spasming at the intrusion.

Gaara hadn't taken his eyes off the boy's face since he started.  _"He's starting to enjoy himself,"_ he thought as he allowed the sand to drift away from the brunette's mouth.

Neji slammed his head back against the hard wood groaning, his mind was becoming foggy with pleasure. He kept jerking his hips as much as the sand would allow, desperately trying to stay in the wet cavern. The sand keeping him in place still covered his hands… How he wished he could grab a handful of that fiery hair and drive himself farther down his throat.

Without warning, Gaara pulled away, quickly getting to his feet. Neji whined before he could stop himself,  _"why did he stop?"_

Gaara's hands were shaking as he tried to unbutton his own shirt, nearly tearing it in the process. His own desire melding with the impulses he felt from Shukaku were becoming more than he could stand. With his slender upper body free, he pressed himself back up against Neji, groaning as their hips connected.

He reached up and grabbed either side of the Hyuga's face, pulling him into a passionate kiss, somewhat shocked when Neji kissed him back. They gasped for air as their heads moved, both tongues fighting for dominance. Neji didn't notice Gaara's hands leaving his face, or his own pants fall off his temporarily free feet.

With his pants undone and the clothing removed from Neji, Gaara willed his sand to raise the boy slightly higher, pulling his hands together above his head. Feeling himself being moved, Neji broke the kiss in confusion.

Gaara swiftly wrapped his hands around Neji's pale thighs and lifted them, pressing his exposed cock to his lover's backside. He was sure if he didn't get release soon he would lose his mind.

Neji tensed and started to shake his head as Gaara thrust upwards, fully sheathing himself. An intense pain tore through the Hyuga as his body tried to adjust to the large organ. His white eyes flew open, mouth parted in a silent scream.

" _I can't stop myself,"_ Gaara thought as he retracted his hips slowly. Biting into the boy's neck, he thrust back in. This time, Neji let out a short scream as tears formed in his pain filled eyes. Stray sand had made its way behind him, rubbing into his skin roughly with each hard thrust. He turned his head and bit down on his shaking arm, trying to block everything out.

Gaara saw a tear slip down his pale cheek, knowing the boy was hurting. His sand gently latched on to Neji's chin, pulling his face towards him. He slowed his hips but didn't stop entirely as he pressed his lips against the Hyuga's.

Neji opened his eyes and found himself staring into Gaara's. The anger he felt at the redhead quickly dissipated when he saw the unusual softness in those turquoise eyes. Taking a chance, he wrapped his legs tighter around Gaara's slim waist. Wincing at the sharp sting he felt in his rear, Neji hid his head in Gaara's neck, lashes still wet from his earlier tears.

Suddenly, he felt a surge of pleasure through the burning in his abdomen. "Aaaah!" He screamed, arching his back and yanking on his restraints. Gaara stopped moving at the sound, glancing over. He roughly thrust in the same path, seeing the Hyuga quiver in pleasure. "Nnnng Gaara…"

Taking the direction, Gaara started pounding into the screaming boy, even letting out a few moans of his own. He could feel himself getting closer to his climax, noting Neji was nearing completion too.

Neji had completely given up his precious pride now, meeting each of Gaara's movements with his own. He could feel the pressure building in his abdomen, blurring his vision. With a violent shudder, he finished, clamping down on Gaara, sending the redhead over the edge.

Neji could feel the warm liquid fill him as Gaara gave a few shallow thrusts. The sand began falling around them, freeing his hands. He dropped his arms down, wrapping them around the younger ninja's shoulders.

They stayed there for a while, Neji still pinned to the tree. He lifted his head, gazing at Gaara's stoic face. Without breaking eye contact, he let his lover kiss him softly.

* * *

 

Shikamaru stared at the board before him in disinterest, his chin resting in his hand. "Your move Asuma-sensei," he said lazily.

Asuma sat back scratching his head, cigarette barely hanging from his mouth. "I should just stop asking you to play Shogi, Shikamaru."

Yawning loudly, the shadow user stared up at the darkening sky. He loved the clouds when the sun was setting, they looked so colorful and soft.  _"Not nearly as soft as Naruto's skin I bet…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That last chapter was wild, this one will be far tamer… but don't worry chaos is sure to ensue again…

They hadn't seen each other since Kyuubi's intervention at the hospital, and Naruto was nervous. Shikamaru had seen straight through his lie, not that it was necessarily surprising being that the boy was a genius. He had managed to convince Tsunade to make Naruto live with him for a short period, just to be sure he wasn't suicidal anymore.

" _Hey, are you awake?"_

" **What is it, boy? Don't you have anything better to do than bother me?"**

" _Without me, you wouldn't have anyone to talk to you stupid fox! Now listen up, I need your help! Granma Tsunade is forcing me to live with Shikamaru for a whole month!"_

" **I'm not here to be your personal scroll. Go and read about human sex in the Konoha library."**

" _Whaa?! No! What the hell are you even talking about! We've been over this, he cares for me in a FRIENDLY way. Besides, I bet you don't know anything about that kind of stuff!"_

" **Then what is it you want!"**  Kyuubi boomed.

" _Well, actually, about what I just said, Shikamaru was kind of the one to convince her,"_ Naruto said in embarrassment, twiddling his thumbs.

" **You're hopeless foolish boy… Of all the people to be sealed into, it had to be you."**

" _Fine then! Don't help! I don't need you anyway!"_

After Naruto had returned his attention to the world outside his mind, Kyuubi began chuckling to himself. He wouldn't waste his time trying to convince Naruto to make a move, the boy was too stubborn.  _ **"You'll figure it out kit…"**_

* * *

Shikamaru waited for the blonde to get his things from the room. "Do you need anything from your apartment?"

"No, I've got everything here!" He replied with a grin. "Let's go!"

The Nara compound was slightly out of town; it had to be since they worked with deer to produce some of Konoha's best medical ingredients. Naruto had never been there and was excited to see it, a slight bounce returning to his step.

"Will you calm down, you just got out of the hospital. You're going to hurt yourself." Shikamaru warned, though it had no effect on the blonde's behavior. Sighing loudly, he wondered what he had just gotten himself in to.

*****Flashback*****

" _Lady Hokage, I know Naruto seems to be acting just like his old self but that's what's bugging me. No one should bounce back that fast after a suicide attempt, even Naruto. I strongly advise supervision for him, at least for a few months." Shikamaru argued._

_Tsunade sat behind her desk, a cup of sake in her hand. "And just who would watch him? We are stretched thin as it is with the sound village causing problems and S-Class missing ninja running around our borders. This village has barely repaired itself from the last invasion."_

" _I'll watch him. You can just send me paperwork to do and I can drag him along if I need to go somewhere."_

" _That's very kind of you Shikamaru, but I'm concerned about your motivations. Watching him out of pity won't help the situation, and neither will guilt."_

" _It's not pity Tsunade-sama. I do feel guilty for not coming to you sooner when I had a hunch something was off, but this isn't about that. Naruto is always there for this village and his friends. It's time we were there for him now, especially if I'm right and that bogus story falls apart."_

" _Very well. He can stay with you for a month, we're going to need you on back on active duty. I hope you know what you're doing Shikamaru Nara."_

*****End Flashback*****

" _I hope I know what I'm doing too,"_  he thought as they arrived at his house.

"Woah, this is where you live? It's huge!"

"Yeah, it's been in my family for generations, we just keep adding to it as needed."

Once inside, Shikamaru took Naruto up the stairs.

"This is the guest room where you're staying, it has its own bathroom and that's my room if you need anything," Shikamaru explained.

Naruto hesitantly walked into 'his room'. It was almost as big as his whole apartment. There wasn't any mildew smell, the walls were a light yellow with no chipping paint and there was an enormous window facing a thriving garden.

Shikamaru watched as Naruto stood still in the center of the room. "You should rest, I'll call you when dinner is ready. My folks are out of town right now on a mission so you're just going to have to deal with my cooking."

Naruto looked over to the corner of the room. He hadn't even noticed the queen bed yet, he'd been too focused on how clean and inviting everything else was. He walked over to it slowly and sat down.  _"This is the softest bed I've ever sat on in my life"_ he mused. Laying back, he couldn't help but close his eyes at the comfort  _"and the sheets… everything smells so fresh."_ He was vaguely aware of Shikamaru's steps echoing quietly as he walked down the hall before he drifted off into sleep.

* * *

"Naruto," a voice called gently, stirring the sleepy blonde. Shikamaru was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "Dinner is ready, you should eat."

Following him down the stairs, Naruto couldn't help but gawk at the rooms they passed. Everything was color coordinated and looked new. He sat down at the table, eyes still wandering;  _"New appliances… I'm lucky if my electricity even works…"_

* * *

They ate in silence at first, neither one wanting to be the first to speak. Accepting that this was part of why Naruto was there, Shikamaru gave in. "Did you settle in all right?"

"Yeah! Thanks for letting me stay here by the way; hanging around with some random ANBU guy would have been terrible. They probably would have stuck me with that pervert Ebisu" Naruto answered.

"It's a drag but, you're worth the effort," he said, glancing over in Naruto's direction. Shikamaru wanted to see how he reacted. All Naruto did was blush and play with his food some, mumbling another 'thank you' under his breath.

A clock chimed in the background, startling Naruto slightly, causing him to drop his chopsticks. "I'll get it," they said in unison, reaching down to retrieve the utensil, hands touching. Their faces were so close they could feel the tingle of the other's breath, dark eyes locking with blue ones.

Shikamaru didn't move his hand, there was no denying his own feelings now. A smile appeared on his lips, as his eyes followed the outline of the blonde's face, stopping on his mouth before looking him deeply in the eyes again. _"He's beautiful…"_

Naruto snapped back up quickly, a blush very noticeably spreading over his face as he looked away. He had seen the odd look the brunette was giving him. He couldn't quite understand what it meant, but it had made his groin stir.

Shikamaru moved back into his seat slowly, eyes still watching the embarrassed boy. "Thanks for dinner! I-I'm not really that hungry; night!" Naruto stuttered, practically running up the stairs.

Shikamaru just stared after him, his stomach still churning from the excitement he felt.

* * *

Naruto tossed in his comfortable bed. Shikamaru's face had burned itself into his mind, he wanted the brunette badly, but the insecurities he felt were starting to give him nightmares about what could go wrong. He had worked so hard to get his feelings under control when they were younger, but now he was going through puberty, and living in his house with him!

"NOOO!" He screamed.

Shikamaru went board straight in his bed, alarmed to say the least, _"Naruto screamed?!"_ He raced down the hall and nearly busted down the door only to find the boy sleeping. He calmed down knowing it had just been a bad dream.

He couldn't help but remember what Kyuubi had told him. Raising a hand to his head, he furrowed his brows cursing himself.  _"It's now or never I suppose."_

Shikamaru pulled back the covers slightly, nearly becoming aroused when he realized they were both only wearing boxers. Shaking his head, he willed himself to stay calm as he climbed into bed next to the boy.

He laid flat on his back for a few minutes before he worked up the courage to roll over. Slowly, he lifted his arm and draped it over the boy, his face coming in contact with spiky hair.

Breathing in his scent deeply, he pulled them closer together.  _"I can't believe I'm actually spooning with Naruto…"_ he thought  _"I didn't expect his skin to be this soft, and he's so warm…"_ He felt himself start to actually harden this time. Panicking slightly, he tried to think of anything else until his 'problem' had softened.  _"Troublesome."_

He noticed there weren't any more whimpers escaping tan lips. The hand that was slung over his thin waist began searching for Naruto's hand. Finding it, Shikamaru grasped gently, mentally reminding himself to ask what had caused the blonde to scream.  _"Sweet dreams Naruto."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me feedback!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be studying, but I felt the need to finish one more chapter before I use the rest of the week for my classes….
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

The sun had already risen, light showing through the window illuminating tan skin. Naruto gradually withdrew from his peaceful sleep feeling warmth all around him. Eyes still closed, he breathed deeply his nose tingling from a familiar scent.  _"Ahhh, that smells so nice… just like Shik-"_

"WHAT THE HELL!?" he screamed as he realized his nose was right in his crushes neck. Struggling to move away, he fell backward off the bed grunting.

"Owww Naruto! Was that necessary?" Shikamaru asked, the idiot had screamed right next to his ear. He sat up rubbing his sleepy eyes, the covers falling to his lap exposing his toned chest.

"Was that necessary? Are you kidding me? What are you doing in my bed?" The blonde exclaimed accusingly.

Shikamaru leaned back on a straight arm, the other resting on his partially exposed lap. "You started screaming in your sleep last night you knucklehead. I came in here to make sure you were ok and you didn't shut up until I crawled in with you." He smirked as he said the last part.

Naruto blushed in embarrassment, he remembered having nightmares and then them all disappearing. In fact, this was the best night's sleep he'd had in a long time, maybe ever. "Well, why are you half naked? Huh? Answer that!"

"You are too baka. I didn't feel like walking all the way back to my room to put on a shirt. That would have been such a drag." Shikamaru answered as he stretched. "Why, do I make you uncomfortable or something?"

" _Damn! I shouldn't have asked that._ "

" **Ku ku ku, what did I tell you kit. The Nara boy has a thing for you… look at his eyes… like a predator…"**

" _Oh, not this again! I've already tol-"_

" **Just look up you idiot"**

Shikamaru had seen his eyes glaze over; he was now crouched before Naruto, his face only inches away. Naruto felt his member twitch again when a hand landed on his bare shoulder, rubbing it softly.

"Hey, are you alright?" Shikamaru asked, his hand moving to the boys now thoroughly flushed face. "You're a bit warm, I'll go get you some water."

Naruto thought he would die when the brunette stood up, his hips just above eye level. A rash of perverted thoughts tore through the blushing boy's mind. The blood in his body couldn't decide whether to pool in his cheeks or somewhere lower. If he had been Hinata, he knew he would have already passed out.

As soon as Shikamaru had left, Naruto ran to the bathroom; he needed to cool his heated body before the brunette returned. He plunged his head under the facet, freezing water cascading over his shaking form.  _"Damn… why does this always happen to me?"_

* * *

They sat at the table eating their cereal after Naruto had temporarily gotten himself under control. "I need to go get some things from town. Bothersome paperwork and what not." Shikamaru said.

"Okay! How long will you be gone?" Naruto asked, he was relieved to be separated from the brunette for a while, he didn't think he could handle another event like this morning.

"You have to come with me remember? You aren't allowed to be alone…"

"Ahhh come on really? I'll be fine Shikamaru!"

"Yeah? And what happens to me if the Lady Hokage sees me without you?"

Naruto shuttered at the thought. She could be really terrifying when she wanted to be, especially when it concerned his wellbeing.

"Fiiiiine."

* * *

Shikamaru already had a plan to start bringing out the real Naruto, or at least to stop him from lying. He wanted to be someone that the boy could lean on when he needed to.

They walked down the busy streets until they reached the records building, specifically, the area regarding housing. "Naruto, when you were in the hospital this last time the staff noticed a problem with your patient history; there wasn't an address listed" Shikamaru explained as he picked up some blank forms. "I need the address on file, plus some of us want to go there and keep it clean for you until you're discharged from my care."

"Uhh uhh uh… yeah about that, I don't really know my address, that's why I never put one on the forms."

Shikamaru sweat dropped as he stared at the stuttering boy. Was Naruto really that dense?  _"No, this is what I planned for, a hastily thought up lie."_ He narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "that's fine, we can walk over there now."

Naruto knew Shikamaru had outsmarted him. The look in the boy's eyes was daring him to make up another excuse.  _"I can't let him see me nervous,"_  he thought. "Alrighty then! Let's get going!"

Despite his best efforts, Shikamaru could see the crestfallen look in those blue eyes. "We can stop by Ichiraku Ramen first and get something to eat, my treat."

Naruto's eyes brightened at the offer, he loved it when someone offered to pay for his food, especially Ichiraku Ramen. Nearly forgetting about what was to come, he bounced up and down in excitement, drool already starting to drip from his mouth.

* * *

As they walked through the different districts, the brunette couldn't help but notice they were becoming more and more run down. Naruto really wished he hadn't eaten so much, the fear of what Shikamaru would think when he saw his apartment was now in full effect and his stomach hurt.

"Here it is!" Naruto said loudly, doing his best to sound perky. Shikamaru kept his composure as he observed the barely-standing structure. He nodded, signaling the blonde to continue to his apartment.

Walking down the hall, the two kept silent, their hearts pounding in their chests. "It's just down here." Naruto hoped that Shikamaru would just write down the number and leave, but his fears were realized when the boy reached to open the door.

"GET DOWN!" Naruto screamed, grabbing the other boy's shoulders and yanking harshly. A kunai flew towards them, barely missing Shikamaru's head.

"Why the hell would you have that that trap set up!" he gasped as he his back rested against Naruto's frail chest; he still hadn't put on enough weight, but with the food pills Tsunade had given him, he would soon. Glancing back, he saw the cautious expression etched onto the blonde's face and realized the snare had been meant for his friend.

Naruto got to his feet and crept towards the open door, checking for any secondary attacks waiting for them. "Okay… I think we're safe now!" He grinned weakly at his friend, his mask starting to erode.

Shikamaru was so shocked that someone had set a trap for Naruto that he forgot to control his reaction to the inside of the apartment. His eyes went wide and he gasped, not believing the state of ruin he was seeing.

If the rotting smell wasn't enough to make him sick, the graffiti on the walls was. 'Demon', 'monster', and 'just die' were a few of the remarks he read.  _"They're all in different writing styles, how many people have broken in here to do this?"_

He saw the switch on the wall, it was still on but no light came from the lone fixture. He could feel the breeze snaking through the boarded window, figuring the glass had been broken long ago. Keeping his head moving, he looked to the floor, noticing all the splintered edges and dust that had fallen from the dipping ceiling.  _"So much dried blood on the ground… did he do this to himself I wonder? Or is this the work of intruders."_

Shikamaru took another step into the apartment, glancing at the 'kitchen' if you could really call it that. There wasn't even a refrigerator, just a stove with two of the heating plates missing. Even if there had been more appliances they would have been useless without power.

The bathroom was equally as disheartening as the room he currently stood in. He could see the cracks lining the tub, the toilet didn't have a lid on the top and several tiles were missing from the floor and the walls. But what he found most disturbing was the bed.

" _That thing looks like he pulled it straight out of a dump. I wouldn't be surprised if he did."_  Shikamaru's heart ached as he remembered Naruto's awed reaction to his guest room, the peaceful look he had when he laid back on a clean mattress.

Finally, his eyes rested on Naruto, who had remained quiet while he gawked. The boy rubbed the back of his head chuckling lightly, "It's not much, but it's home…"

"Naruto, I had no idea; I'm so sorry."

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't put my address in the cities records. I kind of like my privacy" the blonde replied. Shikamaru knew what the blonde meant, 'I have enough people trying to kill me.'

Irritation gripped him as he watched the boy attempt another sickly-sweet smile. "Why the hell are you so complacent about this!?" He hissed. Naruto refused to show he understood what Shikamaru was talking about, but the brunette was having none of that, his patience was gone. "Don't play dumb. Look around you! This place is falling apart, you're falling apart! No one should have to live like this!" His voice was raised now, quivering from anger.

Naruto's smile warped into a glare, "you don't know anything about me or how I live. Why don't you just mind your own damn business and leave me alone? I get by just fine on my own. Besides," he sneered "why would someone like you care anyway. You and Sasuke and Neji, hell everyone! All of you come from respected clans with expectations of how you should behave. You wouldn't want to damage that reputation by helping a demon like me."

The words pierced Shikamaru, Naruto's facade had finally fallen apart and his anger was seething from every pore.

" _Damn, I didn't want to resort to this, what a drag,"_ he thought. "Shadow possession jutsu!"

The lazy shinobis shadow darted forward, Naruto attempted to avoid it by jumping backward but the dimly lit apartment gave Shikamaru the upper hand. But he soon realized that he wouldn't be able to hold the struggling boy for long  _"he's too strong, I better talk some sense into him fast."_

He had been practicing a new technique ever since he found Naruto in the forest. He could now keep hold of a person through their shadow but move independently. He walked over to the squirming boy and looked him dead in the eyes. "Stop being so blind Naruto! We're your friends, not your enemies."

"Ha! Yeah, maybe before you found out my secret. Everyone is the same… you're going to hate me for being the carrier of the nine-tails eventually."

"Why won't you just accept our help? Why don't you believe that we care about you?" Shikamaru screamed. He slammed both his hands down on the wall beside Naruto's head, sweat started to speckle his forehead from exertion. The jutsu hadn't been perfected yet and ate away at his chakra.

Naruto couldn't move his head, so instead, he forced his eyes to the side, gritting his teeth together in defiance.

"WHY CAN'T YOU BELIEVE THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU?"

His mind went blank with desperation, the genius acted on instinct alone crashing his lips into the captured blonde. Naruto just stood still, his eyes frozen on the boy kissing him, watching the tears slip from his closed lids. Shikamaru started moving his mouth, praying he hadn't misread the blonde's feelings towards him.

His shadow started to slink away from the stagnant form he had restrained to the wall. Still feeling no reciprocation, he dropped his arms and started pulling back, dread filling him as he realized he had just assaulted the poor boy, ignoring what would have made him happy, just like everyone else had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has kudos/bookmarked/reviewed my story so far! I really am honored! Please keep it up! It brings me motivation!
> 
> The next chapter will be up later this week (hopefully)!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! There is LEMON in this chapter! So kiddies be warned!

His shadow started to slink away from the stagnant form he had restrained to the wall. Still feeling no reciprocation, he dropped his arms and started pulling back, dread filling him as he realized he had just assaulted the poor boy, ignoring what would have made him happy, just like everyone else had.

"Naruto, I didn't- I mean I did- but I'm-"

"Do it again" the blonde interrupted, "please."

Shikamaru almost couldn't believe what he had heard. Swallowing softly, he stepped towards Naruto again. Finger-tips ghosted over tan cheeks as he tilted his head slightly to the side, bringing their mouths together once more.

They both closed their eyes at the feeling, their lips hesitantly moving against each other. Shikamaru flattened his hands to the blonde's face before running them down his neck, pausing once before continuing downward. He slowly wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist, never letting his hands leave the clothed skin.

Naruto responded by draping his own arms around Shikamaru's neck, their heads moved in unison, lips sucking gently on the other's. Pushing himself on to his toes to deepen the embrace, Naruto parted his lips. The brunette opened on eye slightly to look at him, as if to assure himself this is what the blonde really wanted.

Deciding to take the opportunity, Shikamaru closed his eye again and darted his tongue forward into the opening.  _"He tastes just like Ramen, figures…. I bet he would even if we hadn't just eaten it…"_ he thought smiling to himself,  _"I could get used to this."_

Their tongues continued exploring for a few more ecstasy filled seconds before pulling away for air. They gazed at each other, blushes coloring their faces. Naruto leaned forward pressing his forehead against Shikamaru's, a small smile gracing his lips, true happiness daring to enter his eyes.

'Pop!'

Shikamaru's eyes widened before rolling backward, his knees buckling beneath him. Naruto caught his dead weight before he hit the harsh ground.

" **What the hell was that? Have you lost your mind! Why would you knock him out?"**

" _Relax, he'll wait up in about a day, I just hit a nerve in his neck that's all."_

" **I'm aware of that brat! WHY did you do it?"**

" _Because Kyuubi, Shikamaru will be just as villainized as I am if I get everything I want. He kissed me and that should be enough."_

" **And what do you think you're going to do now? He will wake up eventually."**

Naruto smiled sadly as he peered down at the sleeping boy. He laid him on the ground before readjusting his disheveled clothes.

" _I'm going to do what I have to."_

* * *

"Open up Baa-chan! It's important!" Naruto yelled while banging on the door of the Hokage's office. Tsunade felt fear pierce through her. She ran to the door just as he threw it open.

"What's wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt?"

"Well not technically, but you gotta let me in! Please! I'm begging you! It's really important!"

She still wasn't sure what had caused Naruto to pound on her door screaming like a banshee, but she moved aside, "Where is Shikamaru, he's supposed to be with you at all times!"

"That's what this is about! I did something I shouldn't have and you've got to help me!"

"What? What is it? What did you do?" The fear she felt returned, now shifted to the Nara's wellbeing.

"I... I ki-kissed him!" Naruto stuttered out quietly, his cheeks as red as Gaara's hair.

Tsunade stood up straight, her face full of shock. All at once she shrieked in laughter, her head flying back as she roared. "Baa-chan! This isn't funny, it's really serious!" Naruto pouted.

The genuine look of discomfort on his face only made her laugh harder, holding her stomach as she doubled over. "Uggghhh" Naruto groaned in annoyance  _"Great, I bet she's as big a pervert as the Pervy Sage."_

Finally recovering from her fit, Tsunade wiped the tears from her eyes before returning to her seat. She gestured to the chair in front of her desk for her adoptive brother to sit in. "What do you want me to do about it brat?"

Naruto paused in thought, "I want you to approve me to be sent on an extended training mission with Ero-sennin."

"What? Are you serious? I'm sure it wasn't that bad!" She responded. Now that she thought about it, Shikamaru's behavior when Naruto was in the hospital was beyond what any friends would be. The way he had sobbed when the blonde was slipping away, how he came to visit him every day, holding his hand while he told him about everything that had been going on. She smirked when she remembered that is was the brunette who insisted on being the person Naruto stayed with. _"So that was your plan, huh, getting him to live with you while your parents are away."_

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say Shikamaru has feelings for you too" she commented slyly, noticing the embarrassed look on Naruto's face.

"No, he doesn't!" he blurted out, "and, and… and even if he did I still need to go and train! I've got to get stronger to become the Hokage and replace you ya old hag!"

Tsunade reached across the table and smacked him in the head, "Respect your elders you little brat!"

"Sorry baa-chan really, I didn't mean it" Naruto cried as a lump formed under his hands.

"Besides, Jiraiya may be busy, I can't force him to take you on some long trip."

Naruto's eyes filled up with tears as his bottom lip pouted outward. He leaned forward on the desk, his best puppy face in full effect. "Please! You know I never give up on anything! Just this once let me run away and hide! Pretty please, Hokage-sama!"

Hearing him use such a respectful term caused her to lean back with a slightly annoyed look. "Hmm alright brat, I'll summon him right now."

* * *

Jiraiya had hopped through her window and was now laughing just as hysterically as Tsunade had after hearing Naruto's predicament. All the blonde could do was sit there with his eyebrow twitching at the two Sannin cracking up in front of him.

"Alright already! Come on, what do you say Pervy Sage? Will you take me along with you on your research trip?" Naruto asked.

"Alright kid, I'll get you out of this mess this time, but you have to tell me all the details later!" Jiraiya answered. "Now go back up your things, we are leaving tonight."

"Not so fast!"

They both turned to look at the legendary sucker.

"You don't get to leave before you tell me all the details as well!" Tsunade said darkly, a huge smirk plastered on her face. Naruto sweat dropped, "NOT YOU TOO!"

* * *

"Fuck!" Neji hissed. He was on all fours, gripping the sheets of his disorderly bed tightly as Gaara continued to pound into him from behind.

Readjusting himself slightly, the redhead moved one of his hands from Neji's bruised hips to his shoulder gripping it firmly. He dragged himself out to the head and then thrust forward, roughly pulling the brunette back.

Neji bit sharply into the back of his now raised hand, desperately trying to keep quiet as the boy slammed into his prostate. He could here Gaara's breaths becoming more ragged with every thrust. Suddenly he felt the hand on his shoulder grip his undone hair, tugging slightly.

His head followed the path of the pale hand, leaving them both on just their knees. The hand dropped from his hair to his chin and turned his face backward, leading him into a needy kiss. They nipped and sucked at each other as their tongues fought for dominance.

Gaara's other hand trailed around the boy's stomach hugging him closer before his hips began their rhythmic jerking once more. Neji moaned into their kiss, panting hotly as his orgasm grew closer. The sand nins hand left his lovers chin and gripped his neglected member. Neji's eyes closed even tighter as the redhead pumped him in between each deep thrust, the precum making his hand slide quickly against the pulsating flesh. "Mmnnnng Gaara, I-I'm g-"

Gaara threw the boys shoulders down, leaving his ass still high in the air as he gripped his pale hips. With as much force as he could muster he gave a final thrust, "sssssttt mmng Neji" he hissed, exploding into him.

His scream was muffled by the pillow his face was buried in, his back arching as he spilled his own seed all over the blankets. Neji felt his legs giving out, and he slid to his stomach, Gaara following him down covering him with his body. He rolled off his lover after a few moments, pulling him into his waiting embrace.

"Y-you s-til shouldn't… ha-ve c-come…" Neji attempted between pants. Gaara didn't look over or say anything, he just started running his fingers through the long silky hair, some of it still sticking to the Hyuga's sweating form.

Neji rolled his eyes, deciding to let it go. Breathing deeply, he folded his arm over Gaara, placing his head on the boy's chest. If anyone in the Hyuga compound had heard their activities, they hadn't come to look.

* * *

"Psst! Gaara! Earth to Gaara! Waaaake uuuup!"

Turquoise eyes opened slowly, he must have fallen asleep. Looking down, Neji was still wrapped in his arms, a peaceful expression on his face. Another tap at the window drew his attention. Frowning slightly, he gently untangled himself and put on boxers before gliding over to see who it was and what they wanted.

" _What is he doing here…"_

Sliding the window open, he stepped out gracefully, making his way to the bushes where Naruto was waiting impatiently.

Seeing the state of undress, the blonde couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow as his smile grew. "I guess you and Neji's talk went well ne?

Gaara couldn't hide the small smile that formed on the edges of his mouth. "And you? How did your talk go with Shikamaru?"

"Well mine wasn't THAT good, but it went alright. That's actually what I'm here to talk to you about. I'm leaving tonight and I'll be gone for a couple of years."

"Why?" the redhead asked, a rare display of emotion slipping into his voice. "I thought you said it went well too."

"People are starting to accept you in Suna Gaara, but it's not like that for me. I… I can't bring Shikamaru into my life. It wouldn't be fair to him. I'm hoping that he will have moved on by the time I get back. I was lucky enough to feel him hold me; that's more than I ever dreamed would happen."

"I'm not sure I agree, but if that is what you think is best Naruto I will support your decision. Come and see me on your travels?"

"I will! And I'll write to you too! I can't wait to hear all about you and Neji!" Naruto grinned as he went to leave. He stopped abruptly, turning just his head. "Gaara, there's something I've got to know. Who's bottom?"

The redhead looked almost shocked at first but quickly displayed a smirk. Crossing his arms, he glanced his eyes back at the window he just climbed out of, nodding his head slightly in that direction.

A toothy grin donned the blondes face as he tried to control his amusement before leaping off to meet with Jiraiya.

Gaara watched after his friend, slightly saddened. He wanted Naruto to experience the exhilaration and joy, -yes joy-, he felt when he was around Neji. He breathed out as he returned to the warm body he had left earlier. Running the back of his hand down the sleeping shinobis face, he hoped things would end okay for the two of them. Though he remembered jinchurikis' seemed to be destined to have a sad life. All their happiness was almost always temporary.

* * *

"Nnuuugh… what the hell?" Shikamaru groaned as he came to. He rubbed his head, trying to clear his fuzzy mind enough to remember what happened. Smacking his lips together, he tasted ramen, "Naruto!" he said frantically, looking around the deserted apartment.  _"We had been kissing… he looked happy and then everything went black. Did someone attack me? The Akatsuki!"_ His eyes went wide with horror.  _"I've got to go tell Hokage-sama!"_

Running outside, he saw it was early morning. Even more dread filled him as he wondered how long he had been unconscious; it had been a day at least, plenty of time for his attacker to be long gone. Shikamaru pounced from roof to roof, his body only visible as a silhouette as it propelled forward.

'BOOM!'

Tsunade's office was busted into again by none other than the shadow user. She really didn't know why she had a door, no one bothered to use it. They just nearly broke it down every time someone came to see her anymore.

"Tsunade-sama! Someone took Naruto! We've got to get a tea-"

"Calm down Shikamaru, Naruto is fine. I sent him on a training mission with Jiraiya last night" she sighed.

"A training mission? But he was under my care for the next month!"

The blonde woman leaned back in her chair looking at her nails, a smug expression on her face. "It would seem that Naruto and you had quite the encounter ne?" Her smirk grew wider when she saw him step back, expression full of awkwardness. She continued, "I guess that answers that."

"But why would that make him want to leave? If he explained to you what happened… then please, tell me, was it my doing?" He asked, his embarrassment fading into sadness at the thought of him being the cause.

"From what I can tell he truly likes you Shikamaru, I don't know what he's running from but I doubt it's an aversion for you specifically. In any case, he's already gone and won't be back for about two and a half years, plenty of time for you to figure it out."

Shikamaru's lowered head snapped up at the statement. He was relieved the blonde hadn't given Tsunade the impression that he didn't enjoy the kiss, but two and a half years was such a long time.

Practically reading the boys mind, Tsunade continued, "I know it's a long time Shikamaru, but you believed that Naruto wasn't well, remember? Maybe being away from here will strengthen his spirit again," she smiled gently, "and when he returns you can be the one to keep it strong."

Although he was still sad, the brunette was grateful for her words. He wanted Naruto to be happy more than anything, he would even give up his lazy ways if he had to.

"About that Hokage-sama, I have the evidence that you wanted. Naruto may still maintain it was Kyuubi that caused his suicide attempt, but I believe that even if that part is true, it pales in comparison to the pain he was in."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed in anger, "show me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bum bum bum! I hope you enjoyed reading! Please follow/favorite/review and tell your friends!
> 
> I hope to update again soon! Ja!


	11. Chapter 11

**_***Time Skip 3 Months***_ **

Naruto looked around the bustling town he now stood in. People had always looked down on him whenever he had gone on missions before. He was too loud, too cocky, too orange. Eventually, he always won their hearts over, but the amount of time and effort he spent in the process nearly outweighed the satisfaction.

It hadn't been long since the two had set off on their adventure, and the unease Naruto felt around people still tugged his spirits down. He wasn't on missions, so there weren't any rude customers he felt he needed to heal and no one knew what he carried within him. For the first time in his life, he could go about his business without fear of being beaten or called obscene names - and he had no idea how to handle it.

Jiraiya had been watching him like a hawk, reminding him over and over that there was no need for him to hide behind happiness if he didn't want to. Eventually, the old pervert gave him a lecture about who his father was and why he would entrust such a burden to his own son. The reality of his lineage tore him to pieces and rebuilt him just as fast. If the revered fourth Hokage believed in him that much, he would be hurting their legacy by admitting defeat.

But yet again, here he stood looking around at all the villagers, waiting to be hurt.

"Are you Uzumaki Naruto?" A voice chimed. The blonde could feel his skin prickle as he heard his name; someone had recognized him. Slowly, he turned around to find it was just some weird guy wearing obnoxious goggles with a green hat and suit. The man nodded swiftly as he handed Naruto an envelope before running off into the crowd.

The letter in his hand had been delivered via courier ninja and had a Konoha postmark.  _"Someone really wanted to reach me…I wonder if it's-"_

Naruto caught himself before his thoughts could go any farther. Shikamaru wouldn't have put in that much effort and in any case, if it was from him he would just keep it somewhere safe and not read it. Sighing, Naruto headed back to his room to read his letter in peace.

Flipping it over, he recognized the crest.  _"Sasuke?"_  He thought to himself,  _"what the hell does the teme want?"_

Naruto,

You ran out of town before we had a chance to talk… dobe.

-Sasuke

The blonde felt his eye twitch a little as he read the most Uchiha style note ever written. Even on paper, Sasuke refused to be long-winded. Upon closer inspection though, Naruto could see that there had been something elsewhere 'dobe' was placed, but it had been erased. He also saw signs of an eraser before Sasuke's name, though he couldn't make it out. Scribbling on the same piece of paper, Naruto simply wrote 'Fuck you teme. It's not like you actually talk anyway!' He smiled as he doodled a small Sasuke without a mouth next to his response.

He folded the letter and shoved it into a new envelope, preparing to take it to the post office. Before he could make it out the door, a needy feeling filled him. He had always been attracted to Shikamaru, but Sasuke had been his closest friend before the Chunin exams-before everything had come crashing down.

Naruto bit his lip with a pained expression on his face. He gradually pulled the crumpled note back out into view. What if this was just a prank to hurt him? What if Sasuke didn't reply? What if he tried to leave again after they rebuilt their friendship? He wanted so badly to have someone close to him; someone to make him feel less alone.

Shaking slightly from the worry he felt in his blood, he simply wrote 'we are heading to Rice Country now.'

* * *

Sasuke couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning upwards at the crude drawing. He was relieved that Naruto had answered his letter and even more pleased that he knew where to send the next one to. The Uchiha stared at the clean paper he had pulled from his drawer for the longest time. There were plenty of things he could have written, but his pride was still preventing him from being too friendly to the blonde. He hoped Naruto hadn't noticed the erased parts of his previous notes. He had almost sent the blonde a letter asking how he was doing, and signing as 'your friend'.

" _I can't believe I almost killed Naruto. Now I feel responsible for his attempted suicide. I know there is more to it than just a loose seal, but, I don't want anything getting in the way of my revenge."_  As the war between pride and friendship waged on in his mind, he began his note.

* * *

_*****Time Skip***** _

He was crouched down, eyes closed, with his hands in a familiar circle. The various results of the battle shot through his mind until he found one with a favorable outcome. Within minutes of his direction, the squad had won without any serious injury. Shikamaru breathed a sigh of relief when his team surrounded him in victory.

"Nice going Shikamaru!" Choji said as he nudged the smaller boy. All Shikamaru could do in response was smile lazily.

"We should get going," the brunette said after a few moments. Ino, Choji, and Neji nodded in agreement before they began their long trip back to the land of fire.  _"I wonder where Naruto is right now… No stop thinking about him. He made it clear that he didn't want to pursue anything farther."_

Shikamaru shook his head, disapproving of his own train of thought. The others looked at him and then at each other. He had been acting this way since Naruto left nearly six months ago, and it only seemed to be getting worse. They had succeeded in the mission, but the Nara had uncharacteristically made a judgment error that caused a scuffle to devolve into an actual battle.

"Oy! Shika, you should cheer up! We did get the scrolls to the land of water after all!" Choji exclaimed, attempting to bring the brunette back to the world.

He rolled his eyes at his best friend. Everyone had been trying to 'cheer him up' since the blonde idiot ran off. The only thing that he really wanted to do was sit on his favorite hill and watch the clouds drift across the sky, forgetting the reality that had so obviously distressed him. Shikamaru stopped quickly, "We will camp here tonight. I think we all deserve a rest."

* * *

Shikamaru laid in his makeshift bed staring at the tent above him. He was trying to run back through the events of the day, straining his mind to determine how he had miscalculated the enemy's ability levels. Hearing the movement of cloth, he pulled his chin to his chest to see who was further distracting him.

"Neji, it's late, you should be resting for our journey tomorrow."

"As should you Shikamaru, and yet here we are."

"Alright what is it?" The brunette asked as he forced his body into a seating position, crossing his legs and leaning slightly forward. Neji's white eyes stayed focused on him, as he sat down too. "Have you heard from Naruto?"

Shikamaru glared at the question, "why would I have heard from him?" he asked.

"I just thought that you would have tried to reach out to him by now that's all. Even that traitorous Uchiha bastard writes to him," the older boy stated, his eyes were, if possible, staring even more intently now. He started to smirk as the younger boy struggled to repress his irritation. "It would only be natural for you to be resentful of him. Naruto went to great lengths to bring Sasuke back, I'm sure he cares for him a great deal. Is that why you are refus-"

"I'm doing what Naruto asked me to do Neji. If he wants to be with that red-eyed dick head of a shinobi then…. Then I will support it, as we all should." Shikamaru interrupted. He had intended it to come out as a caring statement, but jealousy and venom dripped from his voice.

Neji crouched to leave, a sad smile on his face. "Naruto has told Gaara how much he cares for you. So much so that he will deny what you both want to protect you from the life he has had, the life that we all ignored until six months ago."

Shikamaru couldn't believe what he was hearing and scoffed. "And how would you know what Gaara of the Sand has been told?"

The brunette had now exited the tent, but leaned back in slightly, "I don't think my lover would lie to me" he said plainly. There was absolutely no reaction on his face to his own statement until Shikamaru's jaw fell open. Neji just tilted his head a little further down, signaling that what he said was not general knowledge and should be kept from being such.

"Perhaps speaking with the idiot will relieve you of your distractions. You are the squad leader after all and I would prefer not to get killed any time soon." With the last word, Neji disappeared from the cloth opening leaving Shikamaru to contemplate everything that he had been told.

Shikamaru leaned back onto his pillow and pulled his arms beneath his head. "Gaara and Neji huh, I did not see that coming. I had been so focused and put all my effort into training when you were here so that you and my other friends would never get hurt under my leadership again. And here I am nearly getting this squad killed because you left. Maybe I really am losing my edge…. Naruto."

* * *

**_***Time Skip***_ **

Dobe,

It's been almost a year since you were back here in Konoha. Did you finish learning that new fighting style yet? I bet it still won't be much of a threat to my Sharingan, but I will indulge you when you come back.

Your favorite ramen shop has a new dish out now. They say it is the best one yet, and you don't get to try it for another year and a half. Who would have thought you would end up leaving just months after I tried to?

I need to know Naruto, you had me lie for you at the hospital. Was what happened my fault?

Your Friend—Sasuke

* * *

Sasuke,

You don't know anything Sasuke-teme, my new skills are going to knock you on your arrogant ass when I get home. Do they really have a new ramen? You better not be lying to me or I'm going to beat you to a pulp twice. Try it for me?

No, it wasn't your fault Sasuke. I didn't mean what I said that night, I was just upset. I care about you a lot and I don't want you to worry about me, you're my best friend.

Your Best Friend—Naruto

* * *

Gaara,

It's been a while since I last wrote to you! I know you are busy now being the Kazekage or whatever. I'm going to be Hokage soon though, believe it!

Have you heard anything from Neji recently? Shikamaru still hasn't written me a single letter and the person I thought wouldn't has. Sasuke is really starting to not be such a teme (at least in his letters), and we are getting close again, so I don't want to ask him to do the spying on that lazy ass.

Oh, and hey! Remember to give me more details about you and the Hyugas' ongoing romance! Are you still the top? I can't wait to give him shit about that when I go home!

Your Friend- Naruto


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Morning/Afternoon/Night my faithful readers! Chapter 12 is here!

Naruto,

Even though he is still hell-bent on killing his brother, Sasuke seems to be more content now than I have ever seen him before; I'm sure you have had something to do with that.

I'll be turning fifteen this year. Every day seems to creep by as slowly as the clouds I like to watch, and I'm sure it will continue to until you come back. I've gone back and forth in my mind about how I should act when I see you again. Would you want me to hold you like I did when you had your nightmares, or would you prefer I just stay away from you entirely? I've never been faced with a situation I couldn't solve before, it's all so troublesome.

I want to know how you are doing, and if you think about me as often as I, you. I've written you one letter every week now for 97 weeks and never sent them. I probably won't send this one either.

-Shikamaru

* * *

The days dragged on for Shikamaru. The anniversary of their kiss and Naruto's subsequent leaving had already come and past, reminding him of how much he missed hearing the loud laugh the blonde would give when he was actually happy. Dropping his pen, he rubbed his tired eyes before neatly folding the letter and filing it away in his desk.

The clock struck noon, signaling the brunette that it was time to leave. He knew he was supposed to meet with the Hokage to be briefed on their next assignment. It was an A-ranked, top-secret mission and would take a few months if everything went smoothly. As he finished packing his gear, he absentmindedly wondered who would be assigned to his team. His thoughts continued,  _"I wonder if Naruto would have already been busting down Tsunade's door to get in on it, or if that was part of his façade too."_ The blonde had always come off as a simple-minded kid, but Shikamaru couldn't figure him out, and that just fueled his affections.

* * *

"Shikamaru, you will be the captain of this mission. Your squad will contain Neji, Sasuke, and Shino, the rest of the details are in the scroll. You are to leave immediately for the Land of Lightning, if there are no questions then you are dismissed" boomed the Hokage's voice.

The four just nodded and headed towards to the gates. Shikamaru couldn't believe who he had gotten stuck with this time. He despised Sasuke for potentially stealing Naruto from him, Neji was always giving him the 'you should try and talk to him' stare and Shino wasn't that bad, he was just… weird. It was moments like these that he wished he wore a mask like Kakashi, at least then he wouldn't have to work as hard to censor his face.

After hours of walking in relative silence, Shikamaru decided it would be best to stop for the night. "Neji, use your Byakugan to search the area, Shino you do the same with your bugs. Sasuke, you can help me get the camp set up."

As they sat around the crackling fire, no one spoke.  _"The only person who would have made this group more quiet and awkward would have been Hinata,"_ Shikamaru thought, "Let's go over our mission. We need to have a plan ready for when we arrive."

Mission

Rank: A

Objective:

1.) Gather information on the Land of Water and their main village Amegakure.

2.) Obtain forbidden jutsu scrolls from the Amegakure; they are believed to hold information on bijuu extraction.

3.) Record any information on movements by the Akatsuki, but do not engage.

Purpose: It is believed that the Land of Water is forming an alliance with the Akatsuki to attempt another attack on Konohagakure.

* * *

Naruto had received another letter today from Sasuke. It had very vaguely described that he would be away on a mission for a while, and wouldn't be able to write.

The blonde sighed from boredom. He only went on missions now when he was low on money, which rarely happened since Tsunade had gone into total grandma mode after his little incident. She was always sending him something.

It had almost been two years since he had left Konoha, and he was very homesick. Sasuke kept him up to date with all the latest gossip, but it just wasn't the same as being there. In just a few months though, he would be back in his town free of his boredom but then faced with the reality of seeing Shikamaru again.

"Should I act like nothing happened between us. Or maybe I could steal a kiss from him, just one more time. Uuugghh I bet he doesn't want to see me at all after the stunt I pulled" Naruto groaned.

"I think that you should write him a letter, the same advice I have given you countless times," Gaara answered.

The blonde kept staring out the window, watching the sand swirl by in dancing loops. He and Jiraiya had decided to stop by Suna on their way through the Land of Wind. The Sage had noticed his students growing agitation over returning home and hoped that the redhead would be able to put his mind at ease.

"What was I thinking Gaara? I still want him just as bad as the day I left, and I'm sure I've ruined things between us. I doubt we'll even be friends. It seemed like such a good idea to run away at the time, but now I realize how much I must have hurt him. I mean I've never received even a letter from him when everyone else sent me at least one."

The Kazekage stopped signing his various documents and sat back in his chair. Tsunade had randomly switched Shikamaru to other missions and given Neji the ambassador assignment, but they were forced to spend months apart, only seeing each other when the brunette came for business.

Despite how little time they spent together, Gaara liked the Hyuga for more than just his beauty, though he wasn't sure the feelings were entirely reciprocated. For now, just knowing that he could hold his love in his arms every so often was enough. The thought of Neji not even wanting to see him made him nauseous, he would be devastated if it actually came to pass.

"I haven't told Neji how I feel" Gaara stated as he turned his chair towards the window behind him.

Naruto was clearly confused, "I know you two have slept together, A LOT, and you always told me things were going well in your letters?"

"Both of those things are true, but I'm not much of one for sharing my emotions and neither is he. Neji may like me, but that doesn't mean it is as intense as my attraction to him." Gaara slowly closed his eyes as he spoke, images of his white-eyed lover playing against his closed lids.

"Tell him, one of us deserves happiness," Naruto said before they both fell into the heavy silence that surrounded them.

* * *

The four Leaf shinobi had successfully made it to the Land of Water, but entering the cities borders would be extremely difficult. Its lands had been used as a battlefield for the major wars between the great nations in the past, leaving the people weary of travelers.

Neji had used his Byakugan, noticing that the ever-falling rain was infused with chakra. "It's most likely a sensory type jutsu, meant to alert the one who cast it of enemies. I don't know how to get around it."

"We just need to be in the village when the rain starts to hit us right? I suggest we try an underground approach. Shino, do you have any bugs that can dig us a hole?" Shikamaru asked.

"I do, but it will take a great deal of time for them to create a path large enough for us to fit through. Especially one that will reach as far as the inside of the village" Shino answered.

"We will transform into rats for the infiltration then, so it will take less time. Just make sure your bugs dig deep enough to avoid any water dripping into the tunnel. We will camp about a mile from this area in case the rain moves farther outward. Sasuke, keep an eye on Shino here until you both return at nightfall." Shikamaru turned to leave. "Neji, you're with me. Use your Byakugan to scout for a suitable area to set up."

* * *

"This spot looks clear" Neji stated as he gave a final sweep of their surroundings. Shikamaru nodded and set his pack down.

They worked quietly setting up the four tents and finding wood for a small fire. By the time they were finished, their comrades had shown up. "It will be at least a week before the tunnel is finished. An inspection will need to be completed each day to ensure that no sensory liquid has reached it" Shino stated.

Sasuke went and sat down on one of the logs Shikamaru had placed near the fire, warming his chilled body. The shadow user couldn't help but stare at his face, it was illuminated by the flames in the growing darkness of night. He could see why Naruto might find him attractive; the Uchiha wasn't bad looking after all.

The raven could feel the brunette staring at him, but decided not to question the sadness filled glare he was receiving. Finally, those piercing eyes flickered away from him and upward to the cloud filled sky.  _"He's given me that same stare nearly every day since our mission started. I wonder if it has anything to do with my leaving… Shikamaru was the squad leader during my attempt to escape the Leaf, and his entire team was nearly wiped out in the process. Maybe he still holds me responsible for that."_

"I'll take the first watch, then Neji, Sasuke, and Shino in two-hour increments," Shikamaru said while standing up and brushing himself off. Never taking his pupils from the sky, he walked off into the forest slowly.

It wasn't long before Sasuke made up an excuse to leave camp so he could follow the brunette. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Part of him still wanted to leave for Orochimaru and might if given the chance, but his conscious was willing him to apologize to the people he had hurt in his struggle for power.

"Shikamaru, mind if I have a word with you?" He asked when he found his captain.

"If you must" he answered. They both sat on the edge of the cliff, looking at the moon and stars. It was so clear and beautiful since the rain clouds had finally passed.

"You were the leader of the mission to retrieve me and every one of your teammates was near mortally wounded in the process. I'm not going to apologize because it was all of your choices to intervene."

"Is that really what you came out here to say to me Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked. He couldn't believe how arrogant the raven was being. Although he had never stopped beating himself up over it, the brunette was too lazy to hold a grudge that long against anyone other than himself. But now, with his feelings for the Uchiha already stirred from jealousy, the audacity of his words was nearly enough to cause him to lash out.

"I came here to tell you that it wasn't your fault that I tried to leave, and you couldn't have stopped your team from being hurt. So, you can stop glaring at me and focus on the mission."

Chakra surged from Shikamaru as he finally snapped, "You really are a prick you know that Uchiha? I couldn't care less that you want to run off to scum like Orochimaru, and neither do any of the people who came after you except for Naruto. We chased you down and nearly died for him, not you. In fact, if I didn't know how badly it would hurt him, I would tell you to get the hell out of Konoha for good."

"What makes you think Naruto actually cares that much about what I do? He came after me because Sakura made him promise to bring me back."

"You still don't get it, do you? He wanted you to acknowledge him far more than any other shinobi or villager in Konoha. Naruto's life was horrible since he was born and after he thought he had you as his best friend and rival, you went all 'severing my bonds' on him. You are just as guilty as the rest of us in letting him get so depressed he nearly killed himself."

"He may have been upset that night but it was just a seal issue" Sasuke snorted.

"Don't pull that shit with me Uchiha, I know he lied in the hospital and I know you lied for him."

Sasuke wasn't really sure how to respond at that point. Naruto had led him to believe that he really was just having an issue with Kyuubi. "How do you know that?"

The brunette rubbed the bridge of his nose between his eyes. "Because I knew something was off before it happened and didn't step in when I should have. Afterward, I brought him to live at my house and was able to get him to open up to me. But he is too afraid I'm going to abandon him like you, the only other person he cared for. Plus, even though my family is respected, we aren't like you Uchiha that can do whatever you please without consequence. If I chose to hang out with him I could shame my family; he doesn't want that."

Realization hit Sasuke as Shikamaru spoke. He had been writing the blonde letters for months now, and over that time Naruto had repeatedly asked about everyone but the Chunin. He had thought it was strange but brushed it off thinking that they just hadn't been close.  _"Has Naruto purposely been avoiding talking about Shikamaru because he wants to distance himself? Or is he worried that he needs to let me know that I will always be his best friend so I don't leave him again?"_

Shikamaru went quiet when he noticed how Sasuke was acting, waiting for his response.

"Why doesn't Naruto ever ask about you in his letters?" the raven finally asked. He raised his eyebrow when he saw the lazy nin look away with a slight tint to his cheeks. "Are you and Naruto… together?"

Sighing, the brunette leaned back onto his elbows. After pausing for a moment, he shook his head.

Sasuke could see the sorrow and longing in his eyes and was about to speak when Shikamaru beat him to it. "I just want Naruto to be happy. If that means he doesn't speak to me and runs back to you then fine."

The brunette stood up and began to walk back to camp for the shift change, more upset than he had been in a while. He knew logically that Naruto wouldn't have brought him up in letters, but hearing it directly from Sasuke was a blow. "If you hurt him again, I will kill you Sasuke."

* * *

Konan walked towards the orange haired shinobi. "Pein, the scouts have found no sign of intruders. You always overexert yourself, please rest for a while."

Pein was the puppet leader of the Akatsuki, but a very powerful warrior hell-bent on destroying the Leaf and all the great nations. He narrowed his spiraled purple eyes, gazing at the village he now controlled. "I am fine, have you received any news from the rest of the members? I expect more tailed beasts soon."

"No, the teams are still searching for their jinchuriki or wanted shinobi for the cash bounty." She replied.

"If Itachi and Kisame are unable to obtain the nine-tails soon, then I will do it myself," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow…. Long chapter lol I hope you all enjoyed it! Some crazy stuff could go down in the next chapter…. Maybe an epic battle… maybe some romance… maybe some just plain teen sex mania!
> 
> Kudos/Bookmark/Comment my darlings!


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